My dear friend..

Find a place near you, my dear friend!!! ROTFL!!! But I think I need a place near him, as a Buddhist monk, as my near and dear ones always long for me to be like that!!!

Confused..!!

Why am I being this confused? Why am I blabbering something when I am confused? Am I conscious of what I am blabbering? Well wait.. if I am conscious, will I blabber? If at all I blabber out of unconsciousness, how did things get into my heart? Is it because of me giving too much importance to very petit things? Why am I concentrating on things that doesnt need any attention from me? Why am I not concentrating on things that need more attention?

Why am I taking things to heart? Is it because am a heart-ruler? Why not I am mind-ruler? If I am a mind ruler will I ever change the notion I which I see and take things? Why am I giving so much importance to love? Is my love unconditional? If it is unconditional, will I ever worry for the meagre reciprocation I get for it? Why do I ask for reciprocation for everything? Why do I feel that the whole world hates me? If the world loves me why am I not knowing it? Dont I know the way how the world treats me? Or shouldnt I know the way how the world treats me? Is it my love that is spoiling me? Or is it something else? Can't the same love heal me out of this confusion?

Why am I not knowing my limits? Or is it that I know my limits and asking for me? Was I given too much more than I deserved? Or am I being given with not all I deserve? Am I worthy for anything? Is any qualification needed for any relationship? Do I possess it? Do I give more importance to relationships?

Why am I this emotional? Is it because am a cancerian? But why not I hide things as a cancerian does? Why am I giving too much importance to emotions? Why am I becoming a prey of it? Is there any problem with my tear glands? Why do I express it without knowing other's feelings? Why am I jumping into conclusions? Or it is my belief that makes me to jump?

Why am I comparing things? Dont I know each individual is different in their own way and each one is different in the way he/she is being seen/treated? Why do I long for things that arent mine? Why dont I long for things are mine and that arent with me right now? Why am I dependent on things? Dont I know that dependency will kill me one day? Or that its so special am dependent? If it is so special, am I possessive then?

Am I taking care of myself? Am I happy? Am I making sure that I make those who care for me happy? Do I know the reason behind why I am treating things so seriously? Do I know the way out? Can that one step change me entirely? Can that one step cost something worth millions? Or will it save many lives? If I take that step wont I become ungrateful? Why am I feeling that I am the end of the road without turning back to see how long the road is? Why am I not believing that love can overpower anything? Havent I experienced it? Or I dont want to take a risk?

Why am I complaining about things that arent mine? Why am I not looking at the beauty of things that I am blessed with? Is it only me who is suffering from all these things? Or is there someone else? Is he expressing things like I do? Is he hiding things? Why dont I do that then? If I hide things, will I stay true to me inner conscience even then? If I know only to express things, why isn't the world accepting it? Should I have to change for the world? Wont I lose my identity then?

Well.. well.. well.. knowing all these, have I changed? Or am I changing? "changing"? Is change a one second process? Then why do I say "am changing"? Is that the last mile connectivity to reach the destiny is lost? Or.. is it because I've analysed and changed, I'm blogging all these? Thought process continues forever..

A friend who is a girl...

After drenching in a bliss for one year now, I thought of blogging about it... Having girls as friends!!! What a boy earns from this relationship?? What a girl earns?? What they lose?? What has it got to do in one's life?? What good should one take from it?? How the world considers it?? How long will it stay nice?? Woww!! Too many questions arising in mind... Socrates in me has awaken after a very long sleep i think.. Ok.. let me try to give my perspectives on this very topic..

Having girls as friends.. that many does!!! But having them as close friends.. Only a very few dare to do.. Close.. as in treating them as confidants and telling them all u do.. loving, confessing, torturing, teasing, playing, scolding, and a lot more... so.. being like this.. wat has it got to offer u??

As a boy, having a girl as a friend.. on the first place.. he gets to treat them equally!! he starts respecting them.. the man-ego, male chauvinism, misogynist behavior in him starts to fade away.. it's when he gets to know the mental nature of girls.. he starts accepting that girls are also good enuf in doing all things as guys.. he starts believing that they are good enuf in competiting with guys in anything and everything!! they too do have courage.. (but cant and wont cross the roads all alone!! :-D)... they too do celebrate life.. but in a different way!! [such things are believed by guys only after a girl enters their life.. till then the man ego stops them to believe it!!].. in shorter terms, he gets to know more about the opposite sex..

The next greatest change in guys is tat they start finding sisters among the girls.. if the boy doesn't have any sisters, he starts treating his friends who are girls (should be told only in this round abt way!! always!!) as sisters!! for the rest, most of them find their second moms in them.. second mom doesnt mean teachers, though a girl teaches more life lessons for a boy.. its that they are treated as their own moms.. some even go to the state of calling their frnds with a "ma" following their name.. :-D .. [a few call them as paati's, paeththi's and even more.. ]. With this notion about them in mind, he starts obliging their sweet orders.. sweet as in stop smoking, drinking and at times stop taking non veg food too [:-D] ... sweet as in stopping to expect things, losing anger and starting to have patience, analysing more before taking any life decisions.. more sweet as in getting up early in the morning and taking bath daily!! [which not many guys do!!].. sweet as in taking breakfasts!! these new changes in him inculcates new habits and moulds a new character in him.. these new changes makes him realise a hidden character in him.. a character which he never gave importance to.. a character which he felt as something abnormal so far.. a character which would show him separate from most other guys of his kind..

This very character is the womanhood or the womanliness.. this is the greatest thing a boy earns from this relationship.. its not a joke!!! its the truth...!! prakash raj, a famous actor, once gave a series of articles in Aanada vikatan, had an article abt this.. "ovvuru manushanukkullam penmai irrukku.. aana.. veli kaattikka maattaanga.. kaatinaa kaevalomo nu eduththuppaanga.. male ego avangalai thadukkum!! adhu thappu.. manidhanukkula irrukka penmai veli padanum... adhu thaan nalladhu!!" he added a lot more abt it.. thats a different topic to blog about in its own stride.. so.. penmai.. wat has a guy got to do with it?? how will it be known outside??? the simplest answer is... characters of prakash raj and prithvi raj in the movie mozhi.. (wat a coincidence.. am hearing a song from mozhi!! :x for my lappie)... wat did they express??? so many things.. but not known explicitly.. to quote some.. have u ever bought any bouquets?? or atleast had/have the urge to buy one?? have u ever spent some 10-15 mins in some temple once in a week?? have u ever paused for a while during long walks to smell the flower on the road side?? have u ever felt a bit touching on seeing children as beggers at traffic signals?? have u even given alms to them?? have u wished ur friend with a gift on his/her bday?? have u ever smelt the goodness in food before tasting it?? have u spent some time in the open terrace atleat once a week?? (not for boosing man.. but to enjoy the clouds!!) have u ever wished to take a dreep breath in a horrible cold during morning walks?? have u ever stopped on the roadside to see some colorful ad that meant nothing?? have u paid more attention to melodies than ghanaaaa(?!) songs?? have u felt the life in them??? do u hear music while going to bed?? have u ever had the urge to taste new items while going to restaurants?? have u ever stepped inside the kitchen and dared to find wat is wat? these are the flavors of the unperceived penmai.. they are inside u.. creep in inside.. inborn or watever!! and they jus starts showing outside when a girl enters ur life.. the flower gains more importance when a girl enters ur life.. this character is a must for every individual.. which makes one to celebrate life.. as my close frnd (who again happens to be a girl.. :-D) says.. "Live (and jus not exist) Life!!!". these things makes u live life.. makes u find beauty in things u dont usually see... have comfort from nature which not many gains...

With this character gaining more importance in him, he starts realising the true happiness.. he gets to know wat a smile is.. wat a laughter is.. wat is meant by experiencing true joy.. true joy and happiness doesnt lie in teasing people and making fun of other guys.. this kind of act is jus an illusion.. a mirage that boys are made to believe as happiness.. but the true happiness is something else.. something too different in color, shape and dimensions... true happiness jus comes out of really very small things.. but stays for long.. something like "u buy a gift for ur frnd.. and ur frnd buys the same gift for u!! u both will end up having a small grin in your face.. but ur heart will be filled with happiness which stays in u forever as a sweet memory!!".. something like "u end up quarelling with someone on the first day.. the next day the same person calls u for a dinner!! the happiness that u have when the person calls u for dinner can never be explained...".. and much more smaller things like these... this is not possible when guys are alone friends.. as guys arent so emotional like girls.. and the happiness in such things arent able to be experienced by a boy until a girl enters his life..

After knowing about happiness, he starts celebrating birthdays.. celebrating birthdays doesnt always mean giving bday bumps and hitting the bday baby.. oops.. bday boy until he cries.. shaving his moushtache and beard.. and taking all sorts of unwanted photographs of him.. it also has some other ways and means.. it also involves wishing the guy on his bday at 12 o clock.. gifting him with weird gifts (i didnt mean the E.T... did i???).. and making him feel happy more than any other day on the year rather than making him cry out of pain more than any other day on the year!! the habit of gifting people on their bdays gets cultivated only from girls.. i can very well say this as i know how much gifts my sister gets on her birthday and how many ways we've altered our show case to hold them all back home!!! and i know more abt it as i select the cards for her jus-friends and best-friends for their birthdays!! :-D

With all the new characters, habits and notion abt women, the guy starts respecting them all.. the unwanted, irritating and demoralising comments abt girls gets stopped.. [i cant say many things explicitly here.. for it will hurt many ppl].. [but there are a certain few who still do pass bad comments abt women even after drenching in the love of really very good girls!! i dont add them here!!] .. on a large scale, eve teasing stops!! this respect and understanding nature makes a guy more mature enuf to take care of his wife in the future.. makes him understand his wife's nature and mental status and cope up with her easily to solve problems..

And now.. it's from the girl's side!! I can't give a full fledged view abt this.. but i can compile all i know from my sister and my friends.. jus like boys, girls too do start treating them as brothers.. some even treat them as thathaa's peran's and more.. there are bhaiyaa's and machchaan's too [:-D] !!! girls too do get to know abt the opposite sex.. gets to know the all tensed nature of guys.. gets to know how to be non sentimental, non emotional and insensitive [half-o-phobia eh??!! :-D].. starts taking things sportively.. stops crying for unimportant things.. stops taking things too seriously.. stops to react suddenly for things.. starts taking comments casually... some do get interest in guy things.. like gadgets and sports.. starts trying too weird things.. right from crossing a road filled with more traffic to learning to drive bikes to riding iin roller coasters all alone.. the confidence levels in them gets boosted!! a lot more from a girl's side can be given in detail only by a girl.. !!

This relationship would never make both lose their individuality!! though there will be a lot of changes in them.. their individual character will never fade.. rather it will be moulded to be accepted by others.. girls wudnt lose their pidivaadham and vambu.. guys on the other side wont lose their anger so easily.. changes in these things take a lot of time to happen.. and almost always seldom happens!!! but instead they get moulded to the extent they are able to be accepted by others.. of all, girls wud never lose their childish nature, if they have any!! and this pours in lot of happiness in this kinda relationship forever!!

As for the pros, there are cons too... as far as the boys, a possessive nature creeps in.. possessiveness usually comes over things which are there only one of a kind.. the association with a girl makes a guy to be possessive over her (at times.. and takes them to a different state creeping in different feellings as well!! :-D ).. one dialogue in 7g rainbow colony goes like this.. "engalaiyellaam ponnunga paarkaradhey periya vishiyam.. idhula oru ponnu engalodaiyum pesaraa naa naanga eppadi saadharanamaa irrukka mudiyum??".. this is true!! this makes him possessive of the very few girls he speaks to.. this possessiveness leads to have many expectations from them.. these expectations, when unsatisfied, at times cud strain the relationship!! the possessiveness makes them dependent on them.. dependency!! ah.. aah!! no comments!!! [:-D].. its in the hands of the guys to play safe and make them not a prey for all these unwanted emotions and lose such relationships!!!

But in the world's eye.. things arent seen so casually.. though many object this claim of mine.. this is the truth!! if some guy introduces someone as a girl friend, the society gives a strange look.. coz, for the world, girl friend is a more different and strange word!! this is the reason everyone introduces them as "a friend who is a girl" or "a friend who is a boy"!!! Shivashankari, a novelist, once in her interview in radio mirchi, told that.. "i have a lot of friends.. adhula niraiyaa paer aangal.. adhai naan sonna samoogam thappa thaan eduththukkum!! indha samoogathukku aangalum pengalum nanbargalaa pazhagaradhu pidikkaadhu!! pazhaginaalum yaethukka pidikkaadhu!!". Further to quote, cheran's autograph was all about his relationship with 4 women.. the whole audience said jus one thing.. "oru aan 4 ponnungaloda pazhagaradhai padam eduthirukkaaney.. adhu thappillai.. adhuvey penn sollirundhaa thappu!! 4 ponnungaloda irrukkara thodarbai ippadi padamaa sollirukkaan!!".. of the 4 women, the third one was a friend!! a friend who moulded him more than anyone else.. a friend who comforted him.. a friend who guided him.. a friend who helped him in everything!! even tat relationship was taken badly by people!! will this view of the world ever change???

This relationship which makes one to enjoy the bliss.. how long can it last?? Till death?? of course yes!! it can.. provided the husbands and wives don't find any fault with their better halves in spending quality time for their friends.. even after marriage, guys have gettogethers often.. girls spend time shopping together!! but guys and girls seldom do spend quality time... for the world and the society dont accept it.. the freedom one had till marriage gets lost after it.. all those teasing, commenting, finding confidants, guides, philosophers in opposite sex gets lost or rather reduced!! that's life!! got to enjoy things when it happens and take them as they come!!

[P.S.: This is my 50th post!! I dedicate this to all the ones who praise such a kind of friendship and who are drenching themselves in it!! :-D ]

Vicky

5 hours work!! After a very long time...!!! Came out well!! I'm so happy about this work...!!!

T n J - Thought and not Joke!!

[1. Why are we like this ??? ]

[2. Why can't we be like this?? ]

[3. So that our lives will be like this...!!!]

Jerry

After a very long time.. Back in business again!! My favorite Jerry with a glee on its face!! I love it!! I dedicate it to my favorite kutti who keeps smiling always!!

Keyboard

This time I went back home for pongal!! We dont celebrate pongal in a much hyped way as others do. But still, this pongal was more special for my sister!! Pinna summaavaa.. 10K ku en thalaila molaga araichchaaley * !!! Hmmm.. She had started going to Keyboard classes. And she asked me to buy a musical keyboard for her!! Seri.. Naama thaan Rahman fan aachchey nu vaangi thandaen!! Namma thangaiyum thalaivar maadiri periya aal aahattum nu!!

I am just wondering!! Such a small instrument!! With just 61 keys!! Can play any instrument you can name!! Wow!! That's really amazing!! I tried playing Piano, Violin, Flute, Trumpet!! And the best of it being Drums!!! Sivamani-ae enga veetukku vaandaapla irundadhu!! [:-D] . I need to explore more with this instrument!! All I want to explore the most is to connect it to my computer via Midi-out and record all I could play!! [rotfl!! :-D]. After bringing it to my home, I tried my hand in it!! As one of my close frnds told me, "Paavam unkooda irukavanga!!!!!!!!!" nu aagalai!! Luckily!! I could play much better than my sister!! Even much better than Harris!! [:-D] Though I know/knew nothing!!

Btw.. Forgot to add something more!! Naama thaan A.R. Rahman oda theeeevira fan aachchey!! Thalaivar maadiri pose kuduththu photo edukkalainaa eppudi??? [tdl!!] Asked my sister to take a nice shot just like ARR's pose!! It came out something like this.. [he he he]

[oru isai saadanai mudichaprom vara feelings!! background poster says a lot than i can! ;) ]

P.S.: Thambi udaiyaan padaikku anjaan nu solluvaanga!! Annan udaiyaal .... ???? [:-?]

Ulcer!!

Yesterday.. It so happened that I started realising the symptoms of Ulcer!! As many of my friends were much eager to know when I get ulcer, I started pinging them and informing the same.. The response!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Avalo thittu!!! Why blood?? Same blood!!

Thittu 1: From one of my sisters!!

Me : hmm
Me : atlast..
Me : i won!!!
YYY : ?
Me : i got ulcer!!
Me : why dont u congratulate Me???
YYY : do fasting for few days.. it'll be perfectly alright
Me : oh grt!!
Me : wat abt bfast???
YYY : not even water
Me : thats good..
YYY : for 2 weeks
Me : but then..
Me : i do water therapy daily..
Me : i cant stop that ..
YYY : be sure to reserve a bed in manipal hospital
YYY : better reserve in advance
YYY : and go ahead with the fasting
Me : am not sure if i wud live till that even

YYY : paavam unga oorla doctor panjam polirukku
Me : too many chocolates
Me : doctor yaen izhukkarey???
Me : i dont go to doctor..
Me : for i hate doctors
YYY : keep it up

Me : bfast ku nalla item sollu..
Me : i must start from tomo atleast
YYY : cornflakes
Me : i hate that
Me : !!!
YYY : aval
Me : aval??
Me : wat do u do with that???
YYY : soak it in water
Me : then??
YYY : eat it with milk.. add soMe sugar, banana, and perhaps soMe dry fruits if u want
Me : oh ok
Me : wat abt oats???
Me : white oats???
YYY : tats also good
Me : US ppl r eating this only
YYY : indha bandhakku onnum koraichalae illa

Thittu 2: From Kilu.. He started giving me a list for a balanced meal even!!

Me : kilu
good news
!!
Kilu: enna da?..
Me : ellaarum romba varushamaa ethir paarththadhu
ennakku ulcer aarambichchaachu!!
Kilu: ennathu?..
enna da solra?..
ada paavi
olunga saapidarathillaya>.
Me : second boil in my mouth within one month!!
Kilu: adangokamakka..
Me : olunga saapidariyaa vaa???
hmm
enga saapidaraen..
last sunday and the sunday before that..
Kilu: daily oru velai thaana?..
Me : nothing i ate!!
Kilu: ada paavi yenda ipdi?..
Me : oru vaelaiyae doubt aa irrukku!!
therila..
pidikkalai
saapidalai..
Kilu: poda loose naaye
Me : naanga ISKCON pona annikku..
kaaalaelaendhu nite varaikkum onnum saapidalai
Kilu: yenda oruthan sapida koodava solli kuduppanga?..
summa nalla sapidarathilla?.
Me : aduththu naal madhiyam thaan saapittaen.
adhuvum konjoondu
Kilu: epdi da irukka?..
Me : hmm
Kilu: udambu enna da pannum?..
Me : edho surviving
Kilu: paavam athu..
naaye
Me : hmmm
:)
vidu vidu
Kilu: cha enna sampathichu enna da panna loosu..
olunga irukkurathu illla..
Me : u know..
i dont care for money,...
Kilu: athu rite da
Me : sambadhichchu saerhthu vekkaradaellaam kidaiyaadhu
Kilu: aanaa konjam vayitha kavanichu ko da..
very bad da..
unnai yara kaasu pakka sonnathu
konjam kuninju vayira paaru nu thaana solran
Kilu: yethavthu exercise pannu
Me : innikku thaan wiki la padichchaen..
Kilu: nalla saapdiu
Me : ulcer can lead to cancer!!!
:o
Kilu: apam ellam yosi
adangoniya
Me : hmm
saw the sysmtoms..
*symptoms
one is.. stress and strain!!
adhaan eppovuMey irrukkey
:)
Kilu: sari varathu da..
nee bus pudichu ootuukuu oodu
ingana iruntha
ipdi than thiriva
de konjam yosi da.. ipdi iruntha yethayum confident ah panna mudiyathu da..
Me : ootukku odi
Kilu: romba kadupa irukkum
Me : enna panna???
maadu Meikkavaa??
Kilu: yennavathu panni udamba thethu
Me : blore la thaan irrukkanum nu vidhi!!
ippadi irrukkaradhaala thaan tension..
short tempered ..
ellaaMey..
Kilu: de i told for soMe ten days
Me : adhuvum theriyum..
olunga saapida pidikkalai..
reason..
stomach full of poochchi!!
adhu naala..
saapaada kandaaley veruppu thaan!!
Kilu: appo first atha sari pannu
Me : onnum panna mudiyaadhu
poochi ku reason..
chocolate..
Kilu: :)
onnum panrathukilla
Me : chocolate saapidradha niruththalaam na..
Kilu: control panni than aganum
Me : saapidaama irrukkum podhu calories kudukkaradhey.. chocolate thaan!!!
total cycle!!
enga thaan naan break pannuvaen??/
:(
Kilu: ada poda venna
first chocolate cut pannu
Kilu: daily twice milk
Kilu: morning yethavthu
Kilu: bread sapidu
Kilu: mathiyam rendu chapath
konjam rice
evening oru juice kudi
nite konjam rice plus milk
Me : ellaam rite thaan
edhuvum inga panna mudiyaadhu..
appadi oru nilamai.
Kilu: hmm
Me : olunga saapida aarambichchaen naa..
ellaam sari aahidum..
short tempered poirum..
Kilu: :)
Me : mugaththula paru poidum
body perfect and healthy aa irrukkumm
Kilu: ada cha naye ellam nalla sollu
Me : ha ha ha
ellaam theriyum daa..
enna panradhu..
saapida pidikkalaiyae
innikku naan irrukkara nilamaikku...
Kilu: nee ellam inga irunthirukkanum da.
Me : shuttle bat kooda pidikka mudiyaadhu..
:(
Kilu: annan sapiduathula pathi sapitale nee elam theriduva

Thittu 3: Sribalaji.. He was expecting this for 4 yrs!! He was so happy to know it!!!

Me : Balaji
solla maranduttaen....
ulcer ennakku vandhaachchu..
Balaji: !!!
Me : hurray!!!
Balaji: aana ippa onna malar hos[ital kootittu poga mudiyathuu...
Me : hmm
Balaji: unakku manipal !!!!
Me : vidu vidu
hmmm
malar o mani o

Thittu 4: Siddaarth.. This was a kinda spiritual scoldings!!!

Me : good news dude
ulcer has started!!
Siddaarth: olunga saapdu ..
Me : hmmm
Me : ennikkaachchum manipal la admit pannuvaanga..
Siddaarth: hmm

Siddaarth: dei ..
life-la udamba kooda paathukkaama irunda vera enna irukku?
reMember one thing ..
indha udambu is not yours ..
its just a tool given by God to experience the earthly stuff ..
u can mis-use it or mis-handle it ..
adha olunga paathukkanum ..
Me : hmm
correct thaan
panraen
Siddaarth: enna panra?
life-la evlovo kashta padura ..
Me : olunga saapidaraen
vaera enna panna mudiyum??/
Siddaarth: konjam kashta pattu udambullu konjam saapaadu podu ..
Me : life la enna kashta padaraen??
sogusa thaan irrukkaen
Siddaarth: adhu daan nee panra modhal punniyam ..
adha sollala ..
dailyum polambaraye??
adha daan sonnen
adhu kashtam illaya?
Me : polambal
adhellaam naanaa ennakku pannikitta kashtam..
Siddaarth: nee edhukku da maarara?
take care of ur mind n body ..
if u dont u r not respecting God
Me : hmmm
maaraley naa..
oruththanum ennoda irrukka maattaan
maararadhu kashtam
Siddaarth: if u dont u r not respecting God

Uff!! Result : I started taking breakfast after 4.5 yrs!!! [:(]

Will I ever hear it??

I happened to copy a song to Sansa c250 from my laptop running Windows Vista Home edition. Just like copying multiple files to the same flash disk (pen drives) at the same time, I happened to copy this 'Rang De Basanti' to this flash disk. Omg!! All it popped was an usual copy dialog with an unusual message!! It said it would take about '46068 days and 19 hours' to complete the transfer!!! Will I ever be alive to hear it in Sansa c250 ???

Tiger

On my sister's birthday, today, I gift this Tiger to her - for she likes "my tiger" a lot!!

As usual this took hours for me to complete.. And hours for me to darkern the lines... To the say the truth.. I got too immersed in darkening and found that my pencil had become half its original size only at the end!! Anyways it has come out well!! Am really thankful to my extra dark Apsara pencil... [;)].

When I was darkening the lines, I felt the need of Flash!! Flash is really awesome in that aspect.. You just click on a line.. The whole continuous line gets selected.. Then it is a just a matter of changing the thickness in a small box associated with line properties!! Similarly the color of the lines tooo... Jus at the click of a button!! But here.. manually shading and darkening the lines is really painful.. Softwares have enhanced the art a lot.. there by spoiling the originality a bit even!! [;)]..

The biggest thing I was too scared about was the eyes!! Right from the day one when I started drawing, my mother always asks me to draw the eyes at the end... And also to concentrate on it.. As.. In art.. Eyes speaks much than anything.. Its the eyes one should take mare care of.. I was praying that, this ferocious animal's eyes should bring in fear!! Happily I came out well!! I like the small twinkle in its eyes.. Awesome really!! In my own slang.. "Gumaaltic-a daal adikkudhu!!!". What if I had drawn it in such a way that it made this tiger laughing?? [:(]

But when I compare this with "my tiger".. Well.. my tiger's eyes always smile.. It's been said that my tiger smiles even during sleep.. I dunno.. I need to confirm that!! [;)]. But too many possibilities of it to happen as it smiles for every other reason!! Comparing this tiger with mine, I could find one more thing different.. The fat content.. Well.. This tiger seems too be like walking after a heavy meal!! My tiger.. ipch... too lean... a malnutrition baby it is!! So sad!! I tried all possible measures to make it fat.. Ipch.. No way it seems.. A lean malnutrioned smiling Tiger it is!!! Hey.. The tail... mine is longer!! I mean.. my tiger's is much longer than this one's!!

Mottai Kavidhai

Disclaimer: I am not cared of the state of the reader after reading this mokkai!! Its the sole responsibility of the reader to restrain himself/herself from this!! Hmm.. Its just.. Vairamuthu 'kaettaar!!'.. Naan 'illai' nu sonnaen!!! Avalo thaan!!

Alli anaiththida aasaiyum illai
thulli thirindhida thunichalum illai

katti thazhuvida kaadhali illai
vittu vilagida vazhiyum illai

kondru kuviththida porkalam illai
nindru jeyyiththida pottiyum illai

etti midhiththida erichalum illai
aera ninaiththida yaekkamum illai

otti uravaada oruvanum illai
kotti kuraipaada kovamum illai

vimmi azhithida vishiyamum illai
pammi bayandhidha bayamum illai

vetti muriththida vaelaiyum illai
neeti nimindhidha nimmadhiyum illai

sandhi siriththida seidhadhum illai
sattai kizhindhidha thirindhadhum illai

vaazhththa ninaiththida vaarththai illai
veezhththa vaendiya avasiyam illai

mathiyil uraiththida maanamum illai
mandai kuzhambhida moolaiyum illai

thooki erindhada thunichchalum illai
baaki vaiththida pazhakkamum illai

naaku varandida pesiyadhum illai
saaku sollida saanakyamum illai

isaiyil mayangiya idhaiyamum illai
thasaiyil koodiya kozhuppum illai

kottiya mazhaiyil kuliththadhudum illai
vettiya uravil inaidhadhum illai

nagaiththu pesida naattamum illai
thigaiththu nindrida thiruppamum illai

kattru thandhida kavingnanum illai
pattru payindra pidikkavum illai

illai nu solla edhuvum illai
idhilae edhuvum unmaiyum illai !!

Ponna Porandirukkanum

Last time when I went back home, I was "busily" browsing over the net.. Too bored.. I entered into the troubling/fantasizing/alcoholic/useless area - Orkut!! I started reading my sister's testimonials!! In one of them, someone had said that she is continuing to be a topper in college too!!! Suddenly I turned to her, gave a bewildered look, and asked her.. "Su-ru-thee... Ennadhu idhu??? College-layum topper-aah???" [:-o]. Her sudden and only reply - "Vidra.. Vidra.. Naan ponna poranduttaen!!!!" ... Well.. It gave me the answer!!!

A girl saying this suffices the existence and amount of partiality shown towards girls in schools and colleges!!! That's how life is!! That's the fate of guys!! Hmmm... We guys can never ever come up in these demoralizing places!! We guys can perform well only when there is no place for partiality!! Justifications.. In my set, none of we boys stayed toppers in school exams!! Just because of partiality!! But, finally in the 12th Public Exam... We guys scored better than girls.. Toppers, too many centums, high entrance scores only from guys!! Just because.. Partiality couldn't play any role there!!!

P.S.: For those who don't know.. My sister came out as District Third during 10th and Topper in School during 12th!!! Well.. To add.. She was the topper in school during 10th, 11th and 12th - in all exams!!! A girl of such a calibre admitting this is something to be considered very seriously!!

Karu Karu Vizhigalaai...

Last Friday I was busy doing my job hearing to my favorite songs.. Suddenly "Karu Karu.." song from '"Patchai Kili Muthu Charam" caught my attention!! I was just thinking what if Girish or Karthik or (my fav) Naresh Iyer worked in a software industry and got frustrated over their work and sang this song??

Karu Karu vizhigalaai.. En muzhigal ingu pidhunguthey!
Thathumbida thathumbida.. En kanavugal ingu vazhiyudhey!
Madhiyam urangaiyil.. Moolai mazhungi poguthey!
Ezhundida ninaikkaiyil.. Oru PR vandhu paaya...

Nee.. oru kalli chediyae!
Nee.. kuththum kulirey!
En.. vaazhvin vidhiyae!

Unnai thaedum kangal!!

Yaen.. nee ennidam vandhaai?
Mann.. madhiyai thindraai!
Naan.. azhuvadhai rasiththaai!

Unnai kollum kaigal!!

Pudhu pudhu varigalaai.. Enadhu codebase thinamum nirayudhey!
Kadamaigal kadamaigal.. Vandhu deadline thaandi vazhiyudhey!
Marandhida maarandhida.. En manamum konjam muyaludhey!
Marupadi marupadi.. En kadamai ennai soozha!

Vazhindhidum tin beer nee thaana?
Vazhukkidum paasam nee thaana?
Puyal tharum thendral nee thaana?
Pidungal nee thaana?

[ Nee.. ]

Oru naal oru naal.. endrey thinamum pogum!
Maru naal varumaa.. endrey manamum panaththai thaedum!
Naatkal oda.. kadangal ingae koodum!
Kaiyin raegai.. poley kaasum ingae odum!

Nirai illa.. vaazhkaiyilae.. indru seyyum pizhai pizhai..
Ullukkulley.. uchchukkotti.. thodarndhidum vaelai pizhai!!

[ Karu.. ]

Tom and Jerry

After a span of 8 years or so, I started drawing again.. To start with.. My favorite 'Tom and Jerry'!! Not drawing anything for these many years.. I just couldn't get few strokes properly.. Well anyways.. It was a nice start!! Took a long time for completing such a small picture!!!

After working on Photoshop for more than 6 years, I felt the need of many options while drawing this...

• undo
• redo
• copy and paste
• resize
• rotate
• move

Hmmm... Drawing on paper doesn't have these options!!! Ipch... [;)]

Weekend with Nokia 6300

Last weekend I happened to go home!! My sister had bought a new mobile - Nokia 6300 - and I was eager to view its features. After too much cautions, I was given with the mobile for some 10 minutes to get a brief overview of what the mobile is all about. Too heavy!! Too slim!! This is what I felt when I held it first on my hands!!

The display was too good!! An ad said it can show 16 million colors!! OMG!!!! 240 x 320 resolution was damn good!!! And the fonts and icons were really nice!!!

Started browsing the 'Contacts' section. Awesome!! You can store many details about a person in it!! Including a video which plays when he/she calls you!! Thats really amazing!! Think you had taken a video of your friend saying "Dei.. maapla.. phone-a edu da!!!" or your mom saying "Kanna.. Phone-a edu paa!!" and had it assigned with the contacts appropriately!! Awesome it will be!!! If you feel a video takes too much of space, you can very well have a simple photo of him/her which gets displayed when he/she calls you!!!

And then the 'Messages' section... Too good!! The phone has just 8 MB of internal memory but can house 1000s of messages!! My sister said she had 1000 messages in her mobile and the memory was still left for more!!! Thats really great!!! You can create folders and group them as well!!

And the 'Multimedia'... Too good to resist!! The songs clarity was really good to ears!! And the display of the player was nice!!! I processed all the ID3 tags and had a very good library of songs in both phone and external memory!! I couldn't test it with any video for she didn't have any video in her mobile!! And the 'Stereo speakers'.. haiyo!! Such a clarity!! Such a sound.. As good as my JBL or Altec Lansing speakers!!!!

And then the 'Camera'.. I wasn't that impressed with the camera in daylight even.. Probably because am a proud 'Sony DSC W-5' owner which sports a Carl-Zeiss lens!!! But then.. The 2 MP camera is good enough to take snaps on the go!!! A variety of resolutions to choose from!! So does the video option in it!!!

And then the games!! They were good!! The best think being you can add any flash game to your mobile and play it!! Awesome really!!! Since it has a flash player.. You can have your own flash files (*.swf) as wallpapers and screen savers. My sister wasn't aware of it. I purposely made a small animation of her name, sent it to her mobile and set it as the wallpaper and gave her!! She was in all smiles for the whole day!!!

It supported a browser - Opera mini!! It was good as for as the examples it gave. I couldn't test it for the lack of GPRS connection.

The greatest thing I liked in it was the Bluetooth!!! Awesome really!! And that too those activities I did with Nokia PC Suite and Windows Vista!!! Lost for words!! After explaining every feature of the mobile to my sister, she gave me the permission to test the bluetooth!! I initially attached/paired her mobile with my lappy and started transferring songs!! The transfer speed was really faster!! Songs got transferred in seconds!! I then downloaded the Nokia PC Suite software from the net for additional enhancements!!! I gave various options to browse and categorise contents in the mobile. You can even synchronize all your contacts with your outlook contacts or windows contacts easily!!! The best one it gave was that it added a Nokia phone browser folder to the My computer!! Opening which gave me the contents of the memory in the mobile as hard disks!! I was able to browse through the contents of the phone very fast and easily as I could browse any other hard disk on my lappy!! Awesome speed!!! Though not connected through a serial/parallel port!!! And the browsing folder had 2 buttons on its left for sending a message and creating a new contact easily!! I tried sending a message to my mom's mobile!! I gave me an editor.. where I used my '108 keys' keyboard to type a message unlike '9 keys' keypad. And then clicked on the 'To' button - which gave me the list of all available contacts - and selected my mom's number. Clicked on send!! It got delivered fast!! Think.. Typing a message so easily with such a big keyboard on your comp with all special symbols and sending it!!! Am just bowled over!! I tried making a call from it!! When I made a call, the phone started making a call.. Improper configuration of the in-built modem made the call to drop. I had no patience to debug it!!

After all these.. My sister started transferring songs from my lappy!! She never knew that I've enabled the audio gateway. After sending a song, she thought of testing it and played it. She was hearing the music at a distance. She got puzzled as the song was actually playing in my laptop's speakers!!! Such a clarity as if the song was playing from a location in my lappy itself!!!

Bluetooth is really nice!! I've started loving it!! My mom - on seeing all these things - asked me to buy a similar phone!!! Earlier I got no permission so easy!! Scene pottey periya aal aahittome la!!!! [;)]

Will you cry??

Under Sruthi Kannan's pressure (?!), I started reading my second book!!! "Who will cry when you die?". Full of life lessons from Robin Sharma.. Too big for a small kid like me to understand actually!! [;)]. Though the title sounds strange.. The main crux is.. "When you were born, you cried when the whole world rejoiced!! Live a life in such a way that when you die, the whole world cries while you rejoice!!". And the author has tried to give 101 lessons to make a person like me perfect!! So sad of him!!! I failed in every lesson of his!!!

Atlast when I completed it, I was thinking of who will cry for me when I die!!! So sad again!!! No one will cry for me for I don't have any big impact on anyone [atleast as of now!!].

Too many questions in my mind after reading the book...!!! Am I living a life I wanted?? Am I good?? Am I cherishing all relationships?? Am I happy?? Am I living a life [first of all!!!]???? ... Hmmm.. My answers.. I think I answered them pretty early!!!! Looking for the answers.. to all my questions.. in my life!!!

And I still remember one incident that happened when I was reading this book!! I happened to call Tiger and told her that I'm reading a book with such a title.. She started scolding me on hearing the title!! Then I told the crux of it.. And told her, "the author has given 101 ways to be good!!.. I'm just trying to find in how many things I've gone bad!! So far I've read 43 lessons for life.. And sadly I'm bad with respect to all 43 chapters!!!" She guffawed for hours for no good reason!! I told my mom the same thing.. And she too started laughing!!! Is that sounding that stupid?? Omg!!

Total Damage Testimonial

Atlast came the most "total damage testimonial" from my sister... Hmmm.. Couldn't deny it as everything is true in it!!! [For those who dont have an orkut account.. Here it is!!]

Disclaimer:d followin testi is full of creativity n imagination.any similarity to thepresent life behavior of this person is purely ACCIDENTAL!! the writer is not responsible for it!!

ntro...evan thaan en annaen!! payyan paaka thaan cool..aana semayana tension party!!
sir-a paththi sila details!! seriyaana "bug"!! oops i mean "deBUGger"
"i hate girls" "i hate girls"nu sollittu thirivaan... yaarum nambaatheenga!! chumma udaansu!! ponnungalata pesarathellam pesittu, "ponnungale pidikaathu"nu scene poduvaan!!! evan taste paththi solliye aaganum!! dress supera select pannuvaan.. hold on.. naan solrathu avana thavara ellarukkum!! he jus explores everything new..except BOOKS!! creative minded.. short tempered.. good friend..[yaarum sandai mattum potraatheenga!! aprom naan ambael!!"naan pesava,venaama"nu "expert advice"gara paerla paada paduthuvaan!!] nalla payyan thaan..enna..konjam porumai,neraya kovam, athaan evan problem-e!! anyways..gud guy to hv friendship with.."GALS BEWARE!!"
2possessive!!but nice guy!

Nokia 6300 speaks.. sings.. shouts.. reports.. scolds.. dances.. and at times writes testimonials like this!!! [:((]

Tuesdays with Morrie

Atlast I was made to read a book!!! After a long time.. !!! And I happily started as it was an e-book!! The book, "Tuesdays with Morrie", is about an old man dying of ALS and his teachings to his student on the verge of leaving the world! This is a nice story... Fully philosophical explaining many dimensions of life.. The best one being "love"!! It shows ways of expressing love.. And the best thing i loved in it is this scence..

The old man, Morrie, has become dumb and his old friend has become deaf by the time.. Morrie was interviewed for a TV show where he was questioned "What would you do if you meet your old friend?".

“We will hold hands,” Morrie said. “And there’ll be a lot of love passing between us. We’ve had thirty-five years of friendship. You don’t need speech or hearing to feel that.”

I love these lines..

P.S.: Thanks to Sruthi Kannan for making me read this.. I became so involved that I went home early just for reading it!!!

The precious moment

After a span of 4 years, I atlast spoke to my dearest friend/sister/guide/teacher.. Too many misunderstandings, ego clashes, fights, cold wars, blah-blah-blah, etc. that marked the end of a really beautiful relationship in my life!!

The realtionship with a person who was the sole cause for me entering AU. Her help during those last 6 months cannot be expressed in words!! It was like she was studying 12th once more for the sake of me.. Even now i remember how she used to guide in areas where i was totally poor.. Esp. those highlighting things.. Even now i remember how she scheduled my learning plans during entrance.. the days we discussed about everything.. something.. and even nothing!! The days she mocked at me.. The days she was teased at by me and my sister!! The days she used to tell stories of her college!! The days i watched her studying.. studying.. studying.. and jus studying!!! This gave me one of the moral supports, inspirations which made me perform better!! It was her guidance which made me set up an aim to outperform her!! Well.. I achieved.. And i decidate most part of wat i achieved to her as much as i owe to my mom, dad, sis and tution masters!!

I'm not still sure if that was the reason behind she stopping conversing properly after my counselling!! Something had really hurt her a lot.. Probably my last request.. which certainly could had been like an dictation to her!! I still search for the reasons for the start of the conflicts!! But i know the reason behind the prolonged (prolonging) cold war!! It's jus my ego.. and partly hers too!!! Too much expectations could also have been a reason behind rifts in that precious relationship!! And finally.. On 19th January 2003.. it came to an end!! An end so soon which i never expected to happen!!

The last 4 years was totally disheartening.. Am not sure if i took those incidents wrongly or they were incidental/concidental!! Something in me stopped me from pursuing further!! Call it ego?? Call it my character?? Call it my perceptions of things?? Am jus tracing it out!!

After getting placed in infosys, i made up my mind to sms her to inform her!! And.. Its a sms and not a call!! That was again my own bad character!! No sooner i sent the message.. I got a reply!! And the very next weekend when i went back home, i happened to see her!! Her facial expression.. with her face slanted by a few degrees.. eyes filled with happiness.. with her eyebrows a bit lifted.. a small smile at the end of her lips.. with she thinking..."en kitta padichcha payyan.. innikki place aahittaan.. i feel happy for him!!" ... [in shorter words.. they call it 'perumidham'in tamil]. i cud sense it!! But.. i gave no expression of sensing them all.. [again bad??!!].. but still i could remember how she reacted that day after seeing me with a job in hand!!!

Well..After these 4 yrs of cold war [as my dad called it yday!!].. I finally went to her and spoke to her!! It was
for congratulating her for she got got the "gold medal" in medical college this yr!! She has proved that she is
still the best in studies!! I still cudnt prove that i can perform without her!! [except my second sem.. the only
sem i studied well to know if can perform well without her help!!]. And.. finally... yday!!

After thinking a lot standing in front of her house.. I jus made up my mind to ring her house's calling bell!! To my surprise it was she who opened the door [usually its her father who opens it]!! She was struck for a second to see me infront of her house after 4 yrs!! Her "Hiiiii....." after a few seconds with a broad smile and same enthusiasm which she had years back, wounded my heart very much by showing me how bad i was/am!! I was totally lost!! I was searching for words to congratulate her.. Atlast i could find some bits and bytes from my garbage (memory) and congratulated her! Her childish "thank youuuuu..." is still lingering in my ears!! She even called me in.. call it my ego again..!! stopped me from entering in!! She was in all smiles on seeing me, which continued to be the same till i left the place after getting her wishes for my new job!! That moment when she was awe struck, filled with all happiness, smiles all over face, with much enthusiasm, and loads of words to speak... That very moment!! I loved it a lot!! Such a precious moment in my life.. as any other big event in life!! Jus like the moment when my sister got the district third rank in her 10th exams!! I would give anything to get that moment back!!

But.. By this.. has the relationship reborn?? Am not sure.. I've made my initiative again!! It's she who should take it further!! Hoping the old phoenix to die and have a rebirth..

P.S.: I would like to thank my close friend "Tiger" for making such a thing possible in life. If not she, I would have never made this crude attempt of going to my old friend's house!! She educated me to think positively and approach things positively.. She made me think right!!! Thanks a lot Tiger!!!

Professional Career

It's 3 weeks now since I started with my professional career!! The field that I yearned for the past 8 years!!! Software Engineer!! Though it sounds quite normal in today's world, it was then regarded as a much coveted job which sowed seeds in me... Today I'm proud that I achieved my dream, aim, goal, whatever..!!

On July 2nd, 2007.. I joined Starent Networks! As my senior said in his speech during the interview process.. 3 things are really good in this company!! 3 things which every software professional would long for!!

1. People - people are really good.. The way they treat the freshers.. the way they guide us.. the way they move with us!! Amazing.. Even the most experienced and most senior people move very casually with all of us.. I like this kinda work environment a lot!!

2. Work - working on cutting edge technology is really great!! that too working on something that is compatible with the specifications that are going to be used only after 2-3 years and by millions and billions of people is really amazing!!

3. Salary - I'm yet to receive my first month's salary!! anyways.. the salary is as good as any other leading software company!!

I find myself lucky to be in a good and demanding field!! I should put all my efforts and take the best out of me!!