My dear friend..

Find a place near you, my dear friend!!! ROTFL!!! But I think I need a place near him, as a Buddhist monk, as my near and dear ones always long for me to be like that!!!

Confused..!!

Why am I being this confused? Why am I blabbering something when I am confused? Am I conscious of what I am blabbering? Well wait.. if I am conscious, will I blabber? If at all I blabber out of unconsciousness, how did things get into my heart? Is it because of me giving too much importance to very petit things? Why am I concentrating on things that doesnt need any attention from me? Why am I not concentrating on things that need more attention?

Why am I taking things to heart? Is it because am a heart-ruler? Why not I am mind-ruler? If I am a mind ruler will I ever change the notion I which I see and take things? Why am I giving so much importance to love? Is my love unconditional? If it is unconditional, will I ever worry for the meagre reciprocation I get for it? Why do I ask for reciprocation for everything? Why do I feel that the whole world hates me? If the world loves me why am I not knowing it? Dont I know the way how the world treats me? Or shouldnt I know the way how the world treats me? Is it my love that is spoiling me? Or is it something else? Can't the same love heal me out of this confusion?

Why am I not knowing my limits? Or is it that I know my limits and asking for me? Was I given too much more than I deserved? Or am I being given with not all I deserve? Am I worthy for anything? Is any qualification needed for any relationship? Do I possess it? Do I give more importance to relationships?

Why am I this emotional? Is it because am a cancerian? But why not I hide things as a cancerian does? Why am I giving too much importance to emotions? Why am I becoming a prey of it? Is there any problem with my tear glands? Why do I express it without knowing other's feelings? Why am I jumping into conclusions? Or it is my belief that makes me to jump?

Why am I comparing things? Dont I know each individual is different in their own way and each one is different in the way he/she is being seen/treated? Why do I long for things that arent mine? Why dont I long for things are mine and that arent with me right now? Why am I dependent on things? Dont I know that dependency will kill me one day? Or that its so special am dependent? If it is so special, am I possessive then?

Am I taking care of myself? Am I happy? Am I making sure that I make those who care for me happy? Do I know the reason behind why I am treating things so seriously? Do I know the way out? Can that one step change me entirely? Can that one step cost something worth millions? Or will it save many lives? If I take that step wont I become ungrateful? Why am I feeling that I am the end of the road without turning back to see how long the road is? Why am I not believing that love can overpower anything? Havent I experienced it? Or I dont want to take a risk?

Why am I complaining about things that arent mine? Why am I not looking at the beauty of things that I am blessed with? Is it only me who is suffering from all these things? Or is there someone else? Is he expressing things like I do? Is he hiding things? Why dont I do that then? If I hide things, will I stay true to me inner conscience even then? If I know only to express things, why isn't the world accepting it? Should I have to change for the world? Wont I lose my identity then?

Well.. well.. well.. knowing all these, have I changed? Or am I changing? "changing"? Is change a one second process? Then why do I say "am changing"? Is that the last mile connectivity to reach the destiny is lost? Or.. is it because I've analysed and changed, I'm blogging all these? Thought process continues forever..

A friend who is a girl...

After drenching in a bliss for one year now, I thought of blogging about it... Having girls as friends!!! What a boy earns from this relationship?? What a girl earns?? What they lose?? What has it got to do in one's life?? What good should one take from it?? How the world considers it?? How long will it stay nice?? Woww!! Too many questions arising in mind... Socrates in me has awaken after a very long sleep i think.. Ok.. let me try to give my perspectives on this very topic..

Having girls as friends.. that many does!!! But having them as close friends.. Only a very few dare to do.. Close.. as in treating them as confidants and telling them all u do.. loving, confessing, torturing, teasing, playing, scolding, and a lot more... so.. being like this.. wat has it got to offer u??

As a boy, having a girl as a friend.. on the first place.. he gets to treat them equally!! he starts respecting them.. the man-ego, male chauvinism, misogynist behavior in him starts to fade away.. it's when he gets to know the mental nature of girls.. he starts accepting that girls are also good enuf in doing all things as guys.. he starts believing that they are good enuf in competiting with guys in anything and everything!! they too do have courage.. (but cant and wont cross the roads all alone!! :-D)... they too do celebrate life.. but in a different way!! [such things are believed by guys only after a girl enters their life.. till then the man ego stops them to believe it!!].. in shorter terms, he gets to know more about the opposite sex..

The next greatest change in guys is tat they start finding sisters among the girls.. if the boy doesn't have any sisters, he starts treating his friends who are girls (should be told only in this round abt way!! always!!) as sisters!! for the rest, most of them find their second moms in them.. second mom doesnt mean teachers, though a girl teaches more life lessons for a boy.. its that they are treated as their own moms.. some even go to the state of calling their frnds with a "ma" following their name.. :-D .. [a few call them as paati's, paeththi's and even more.. ]. With this notion about them in mind, he starts obliging their sweet orders.. sweet as in stop smoking, drinking and at times stop taking non veg food too [:-D] ... sweet as in stopping to expect things, losing anger and starting to have patience, analysing more before taking any life decisions.. more sweet as in getting up early in the morning and taking bath daily!! [which not many guys do!!].. sweet as in taking breakfasts!! these new changes in him inculcates new habits and moulds a new character in him.. these new changes makes him realise a hidden character in him.. a character which he never gave importance to.. a character which he felt as something abnormal so far.. a character which would show him separate from most other guys of his kind..

This very character is the womanhood or the womanliness.. this is the greatest thing a boy earns from this relationship.. its not a joke!!! its the truth...!! prakash raj, a famous actor, once gave a series of articles in Aanada vikatan, had an article abt this.. "ovvuru manushanukkullam penmai irrukku.. aana.. veli kaattikka maattaanga.. kaatinaa kaevalomo nu eduththuppaanga.. male ego avangalai thadukkum!! adhu thappu.. manidhanukkula irrukka penmai veli padanum... adhu thaan nalladhu!!" he added a lot more abt it.. thats a different topic to blog about in its own stride.. so.. penmai.. wat has a guy got to do with it?? how will it be known outside??? the simplest answer is... characters of prakash raj and prithvi raj in the movie mozhi.. (wat a coincidence.. am hearing a song from mozhi!! :x for my lappie)... wat did they express??? so many things.. but not known explicitly.. to quote some.. have u ever bought any bouquets?? or atleast had/have the urge to buy one?? have u ever spent some 10-15 mins in some temple once in a week?? have u ever paused for a while during long walks to smell the flower on the road side?? have u ever felt a bit touching on seeing children as beggers at traffic signals?? have u even given alms to them?? have u wished ur friend with a gift on his/her bday?? have u ever smelt the goodness in food before tasting it?? have u spent some time in the open terrace atleat once a week?? (not for boosing man.. but to enjoy the clouds!!) have u ever wished to take a dreep breath in a horrible cold during morning walks?? have u ever stopped on the roadside to see some colorful ad that meant nothing?? have u paid more attention to melodies than ghanaaaa(?!) songs?? have u felt the life in them??? do u hear music while going to bed?? have u ever had the urge to taste new items while going to restaurants?? have u ever stepped inside the kitchen and dared to find wat is wat? these are the flavors of the unperceived penmai.. they are inside u.. creep in inside.. inborn or watever!! and they jus starts showing outside when a girl enters ur life.. the flower gains more importance when a girl enters ur life.. this character is a must for every individual.. which makes one to celebrate life.. as my close frnd (who again happens to be a girl.. :-D) says.. "Live (and jus not exist) Life!!!". these things makes u live life.. makes u find beauty in things u dont usually see... have comfort from nature which not many gains...

With this character gaining more importance in him, he starts realising the true happiness.. he gets to know wat a smile is.. wat a laughter is.. wat is meant by experiencing true joy.. true joy and happiness doesnt lie in teasing people and making fun of other guys.. this kind of act is jus an illusion.. a mirage that boys are made to believe as happiness.. but the true happiness is something else.. something too different in color, shape and dimensions... true happiness jus comes out of really very small things.. but stays for long.. something like "u buy a gift for ur frnd.. and ur frnd buys the same gift for u!! u both will end up having a small grin in your face.. but ur heart will be filled with happiness which stays in u forever as a sweet memory!!".. something like "u end up quarelling with someone on the first day.. the next day the same person calls u for a dinner!! the happiness that u have when the person calls u for dinner can never be explained...".. and much more smaller things like these... this is not possible when guys are alone friends.. as guys arent so emotional like girls.. and the happiness in such things arent able to be experienced by a boy until a girl enters his life..

After knowing about happiness, he starts celebrating birthdays.. celebrating birthdays doesnt always mean giving bday bumps and hitting the bday baby.. oops.. bday boy until he cries.. shaving his moushtache and beard.. and taking all sorts of unwanted photographs of him.. it also has some other ways and means.. it also involves wishing the guy on his bday at 12 o clock.. gifting him with weird gifts (i didnt mean the E.T... did i???).. and making him feel happy more than any other day on the year rather than making him cry out of pain more than any other day on the year!! the habit of gifting people on their bdays gets cultivated only from girls.. i can very well say this as i know how much gifts my sister gets on her birthday and how many ways we've altered our show case to hold them all back home!!! and i know more abt it as i select the cards for her jus-friends and best-friends for their birthdays!! :-D

With all the new characters, habits and notion abt women, the guy starts respecting them all.. the unwanted, irritating and demoralising comments abt girls gets stopped.. [i cant say many things explicitly here.. for it will hurt many ppl].. [but there are a certain few who still do pass bad comments abt women even after drenching in the love of really very good girls!! i dont add them here!!] .. on a large scale, eve teasing stops!! this respect and understanding nature makes a guy more mature enuf to take care of his wife in the future.. makes him understand his wife's nature and mental status and cope up with her easily to solve problems..

And now.. it's from the girl's side!! I can't give a full fledged view abt this.. but i can compile all i know from my sister and my friends.. jus like boys, girls too do start treating them as brothers.. some even treat them as thathaa's peran's and more.. there are bhaiyaa's and machchaan's too [:-D] !!! girls too do get to know abt the opposite sex.. gets to know the all tensed nature of guys.. gets to know how to be non sentimental, non emotional and insensitive [half-o-phobia eh??!! :-D].. starts taking things sportively.. stops crying for unimportant things.. stops taking things too seriously.. stops to react suddenly for things.. starts taking comments casually... some do get interest in guy things.. like gadgets and sports.. starts trying too weird things.. right from crossing a road filled with more traffic to learning to drive bikes to riding iin roller coasters all alone.. the confidence levels in them gets boosted!! a lot more from a girl's side can be given in detail only by a girl.. !!

This relationship would never make both lose their individuality!! though there will be a lot of changes in them.. their individual character will never fade.. rather it will be moulded to be accepted by others.. girls wudnt lose their pidivaadham and vambu.. guys on the other side wont lose their anger so easily.. changes in these things take a lot of time to happen.. and almost always seldom happens!!! but instead they get moulded to the extent they are able to be accepted by others.. of all, girls wud never lose their childish nature, if they have any!! and this pours in lot of happiness in this kinda relationship forever!!

As for the pros, there are cons too... as far as the boys, a possessive nature creeps in.. possessiveness usually comes over things which are there only one of a kind.. the association with a girl makes a guy to be possessive over her (at times.. and takes them to a different state creeping in different feellings as well!! :-D ).. one dialogue in 7g rainbow colony goes like this.. "engalaiyellaam ponnunga paarkaradhey periya vishiyam.. idhula oru ponnu engalodaiyum pesaraa naa naanga eppadi saadharanamaa irrukka mudiyum??".. this is true!! this makes him possessive of the very few girls he speaks to.. this possessiveness leads to have many expectations from them.. these expectations, when unsatisfied, at times cud strain the relationship!! the possessiveness makes them dependent on them.. dependency!! ah.. aah!! no comments!!! [:-D].. its in the hands of the guys to play safe and make them not a prey for all these unwanted emotions and lose such relationships!!!

But in the world's eye.. things arent seen so casually.. though many object this claim of mine.. this is the truth!! if some guy introduces someone as a girl friend, the society gives a strange look.. coz, for the world, girl friend is a more different and strange word!! this is the reason everyone introduces them as "a friend who is a girl" or "a friend who is a boy"!!! Shivashankari, a novelist, once in her interview in radio mirchi, told that.. "i have a lot of friends.. adhula niraiyaa paer aangal.. adhai naan sonna samoogam thappa thaan eduththukkum!! indha samoogathukku aangalum pengalum nanbargalaa pazhagaradhu pidikkaadhu!! pazhaginaalum yaethukka pidikkaadhu!!". Further to quote, cheran's autograph was all about his relationship with 4 women.. the whole audience said jus one thing.. "oru aan 4 ponnungaloda pazhagaradhai padam eduthirukkaaney.. adhu thappillai.. adhuvey penn sollirundhaa thappu!! 4 ponnungaloda irrukkara thodarbai ippadi padamaa sollirukkaan!!".. of the 4 women, the third one was a friend!! a friend who moulded him more than anyone else.. a friend who comforted him.. a friend who guided him.. a friend who helped him in everything!! even tat relationship was taken badly by people!! will this view of the world ever change???

This relationship which makes one to enjoy the bliss.. how long can it last?? Till death?? of course yes!! it can.. provided the husbands and wives don't find any fault with their better halves in spending quality time for their friends.. even after marriage, guys have gettogethers often.. girls spend time shopping together!! but guys and girls seldom do spend quality time... for the world and the society dont accept it.. the freedom one had till marriage gets lost after it.. all those teasing, commenting, finding confidants, guides, philosophers in opposite sex gets lost or rather reduced!! that's life!! got to enjoy things when it happens and take them as they come!!

[P.S.: This is my 50th post!! I dedicate this to all the ones who praise such a kind of friendship and who are drenching themselves in it!! :-D ]

Vicky

5 hours work!! After a very long time...!!! Came out well!! I'm so happy about this work...!!!