How to lose friends and alienate people!

In ur millions of friends, consider me as a friend to share things, have a walk, sip a cup of coffee, watch a movie, laugh out, live life.

- An SMS shouted in my mobile today!

Hatread begetS violEnce

- Subtitle of 'Yogi' movie that caught my attention while driving behind an auto that was having this poster.

That left me in a puzzled state bringing back nostalgia after quite a long time.

Back in my college life, I didn't have much friends. I sticked to a very few. Probably because only they matched with my interests and was more in way 'I can adjust'. And for those, hmmm!, I wasn't that great a friend though, which took a very long time for me to realise. "Everything relationship is a result of some need. Only a few sustains once the needs are satisfied!!" [Courtesy: Me from my college days!]

That was the time I went in search of lots of friends. Became a flirt? as I was called so! Tried to figure out what was in lacking me. Got many many reports - just like Manipal gives me!! One of them being from K, 'You always tend to be in your room doing something in your computer. You never concentrate on who's around you!'. Mmmm.. ya! Agreed. I was like that. For the reasons being - 1. I got my computer after years and years of yearning. It was an 5 yr dream come true and I was totally attached to it than any other soul in hostel. 2. I generally can't concentrate on 2 things at the same time. And more often when one of them is a computer! 3. I! had! the responsbility / onus of punching every damn character for every other project throughout my 8 semesters. And, as a result, I never came out of my room. Also adding to this, I generally had an impression that none likes me. I was there for 'put-my-quoted-phrase-here'. Because, people were behind few others - always treating them as Gods!! I cannot throw my ego and behave like a u-shout-at-my-wife-i-dont-care-a-darn or u-shout-any-bad-word-who-cares person. I, by very being, since my childhood, can never ever tolerate such things. I don't care if I'm extracted work to the fullest as long as I'm considered as a friend rather than being a worthy servant. And, I, since childhood, was the cynosure throughout my school life. All of a sudden I can't put me in a situation where people just use me!

Throwing all my ego, I went out to search more and more people. I never cared if it was as boy or a girl. And, I stopped coding during my pastime. Just for the sake of being away from my computer. But still.. there were issues. All throughout the past 2 years. People, though seemed to treat me as a friend couldn't accept me fully. I was again a servant at times of need. The very essence of frienship - to share things lacked a lot from every person around me. As long as I come to know from X or Y or Z about A or B or C, A or B or C wouldn't tell me anything - and 'vice' versa. Friendship is all about joy. Ofcourse, the comfort in pain is there - which is the most important. But, as a whole, it's about bringing in happiness. Did I get any bit of it? And the reason for the expected answer was quoted to be 'my expectations'!! Watching a movie or going for a walk or meeting at a coffee point or sitting and speaking over sweet nothings in a park - those should have been the eventful things that I 'expected'. While it happened among others - I - was standing as a mute observer - or even a blind observer - to all that happened!! With all those 'grave reasons' I was only able to stand speechless knowing that none of those reasons were true! Purposeful avoidances, punishments, ditching away, indifference, 'not-told-to-you-for-the-sake-of-not-to-hurt-you', 'not-told-to-you-for-the-sake-of-not-to-put-you-in-trouble', portrayal of ego, lack of compromise, vengeance - was what I could see throughout. When people could run for help just for someone crying for 2 hours, I struggled to overcome my high BP throughout the night with none coming for help. When people could adjust any kind of food and eat anywhere, I, for the past 2.5 years had never ever been accompanied by someone for having my dinner [unless it was a b'day treat for which I was called for-the-sake-of-calling!]. When people could go for movies together every month portraying some reason for-my-sake, I've never been accompanied by anyone for any movie that I've called each one in the past 2.5 years. With everyone wearing every new style coming into the market, and when people can come early from office for carrying one's friend's shopping bags - I wear ragged clothes, as I never had anyone to come with me for purchase. I was fortunately [as I was asked to call it so] given the chance of atleast seeing the new robes bought! Those were the days in my childhood when 'I' used to select dress for every memeber in my family of 20 people since my 5th std. Today.. I stand as a Software Beggar! With certain of them kneeling in front of others for not going out with them for once, I've never been accompanied by anyone even after quite a lot times of asking if anyone could get me out.

I, till now, couldn't get to know how all-those-mature minds couldn't understand why I 'expect' so 'many' 'not-for-sale' things! It's just about an year or two till friends could enjoy life together going around the city. Once someone got married, it ll be more about one's own family than about one's friends. People generally would like to spend time with better halfs and not (bitter-in-case-of-me) friends going further. Probaly A and B, or C and D .. T and U can be so! I can't expect that to happen in my life - for it has not happened even now before marriage!! All I - anyone for that matter - have got is just a period of 1 year at max. With everyone giving this thought a valid concern and utilising that 1 year at the fullest, and ditching me away... hmmm!! I couldn't comment on why I'm being forced to live a life like this.

Well.. Finally [for-those-sighing.. i didnt ask you to read] confessions!!

• Yes! I EXPECT!
• Yes! I EXPECT a LOOOOOOOT!
• Yes! I've begged people to speak to me!
• And ya! I've requested people not to speak to me in my life time ever after! - And they happily agreed to it even!
• Yes! I want to be the cynosure!
• But again.. I can accept a life with people around me understanding my feelings and emotions atleast!
• Yes! I want myself to be cuddled and pampered - and that's the way I was brought up! I don't find a reason - why I should be blamed for everything - though not cuddled!
• Yes! I ask for help - but only when I realise I cannot do it! There are things which people can't do it on their own in this world! Even Nepolean for that matter!
• Yes! I want people to give reviews for something I did - at the same time I hate when people do the same for the saking of doing!
• Yes! I want an ACK - if not a reply - for every mail I send. I don't send any review of Vijay's lost flop or Vadivel's vaththal comedies!
• Yes! I want to be considered as a friend always - not when X or Y or Z goes out of one's life or A or B or C comes in on the other hand! - I'm not a free commodity that comes with Kumudham!
• Yes! I want my friends [who I feel are treating me so - and if that's my mistake - I pity myself for being a prey of deceiving art] to spend time for me as well - INDIVIDUALLY - as they spend for others! I don't want it to be accurate in every second. But atleast to 1/10th of what is being spent.
• Yes! I CAN 'tolerate nonsenses'. But not ego!
• Yes! I want things to be shared with me - if not 100% - atleast 80% - for friendship on very being is formed only on sharing something. Without which the yellow shirt crossing MG road or the Blue chudidaar walking along Pondy Bazaar are no different from 'you'!
• Yes! I want any bad news - when regarding me - to hit me first and the sooner - than reaching my ears through E or F or G after a long time.
• Yes! I want some space in heart!

At the end of the day.. figuring out none of the above can happen..
Yes! I've resolved to coding AGAIN! With my laptop being my only companion these days!

Disclaimers:

• The title of the post is the name of the movie that I watched today with my sister commenting, "probably perfect for you!! :P".
• For those who consider this as a 'diary' - well yes! it is!! a digital diary! I dont have great bunch of friends. And with those I have, I've been stricly ordered not to share any information by old pals. So, I!, can only have my blog post as something where I can vent out things. Like it was once said by HWMNBN, 'He atleast vents out things in a fit of rage!'. So, it's just reader's discretion to stay away from such posts!
• I've also been told by G, 'You cannot disappoint your readers by such posts!!'. Well yes! I'm sorry. But I've no choice. I tend to be at both the ends. A post on 'Astamaththu sani' will also be there. And posts of this sort will also be there. I don't follow the 'Golden Rule'!
• And this is not based on any X or Y or Z in particular. This is about every other person around me in my life!! And I mean it! For those of you who feel it other way - I can't do anything about it! And this is not a disclaimer unlike in previous posts!

I hate Facebook!!!

This is why I don't tend to use Facebook!!! I dunno how it knew all these things!!! :( :(

P.S.: No points for any guess!!! :P


Update: Thanks to kilu for this awesome picture in comments!! :D

What's there in this name????

Am totally fed up!! Can't the world think of some other names?? Why is the whole world running behind just one name?? It's irritating!!!!

It all started here..


and then this...


and then this..


and now this!!!!!



On top of this... Hmmmmm!! Heights!!!!!

There are even many many many more!! Why is this sudden shift?? Aaah man!! Gimme a break!!!!!!!

[P.S.: Idhulla endha ulkutthum illai!! :P :P]

Kodaana kodi

இன்னாசெய் தாரை ஒறுத்தல் அவர்நாண
நன்னயஞ் செய்து விடல்.

இப்படி இந்த திருக்குறள் மட்டும் பலிச்சிருந்தா.. நானெல்லாம் நன்மை என்னும் ஆழ் கடலில் மூழ்கி முத்து எடுத்திருப்பேன்!!! :P :P :P அவ்ளோ செஞ்சுட்டோம்!!! :D :D :D

சரி.. கலியுகத்துக்கு ஏர்தாப்ல மாதுவோமே குறளை!!

இன்னாசெய் தாரை ஒறுத்தல் அவர்நாண
நாணயம் குடுத்து விடல்.

அட்லீஸ்ட் இப்படி இருந்திருந்தா.. "கோடான கோடி .. அதில் குளிப்போம்விளையாடி!!" னு பாட்டுப் பாடிட்டு இருந்திருப்பேன்!! அதுவுமே இல்லையே!!!

ஒரு வேளை நான் எக்கச்சக்கமா நல்லது பண்றேனோ?? :-? :-? :-?

[பி.கு: ஆன்றோர்களே சான்றோர்களே தமிழ் ஆர்வலர்களே மற்றும் அரைவேக்காடுகளே.. சொல்லில் பிழை இருப்பின் திட்டாமல் இருத்தல் நன்று!! பொருளில் பிழை இருப்பின் பொது மாத்து குடுத்தாலும் வாங்கிக்க்கொள்ளப்படும்!! :P :P]

P.S: There is no motive behind this post! Only motive is 'mokkai'! :P :P I was watching some comedy in TV from the movie 'nadodigal' where this particular kural comes!!

Just a thought!

In a tech-savvy city like Bangalore, almost all traffic police inspectors at each and every signal are equipped with Blackberries!! That's a good move!! (Atleast not for rash drivers like me though! :P). But, why not the same Blackberry be used in an even more better way??

Pondering.......

Consider the traffic in Bangalore. Everyone is almost squeezed out while getting back home from work! In this, will it be possible for an ambulance to reach the hospital on time? Ofcourse not!!! I bet!! Just imagine!! [sorry-kareena :P] Why not the ambulance have a way to feed in that start and destination of their route - some app automatically finds the shortest path first (too-much-technical :P) or rather some road with less traffic that time - and informs the traffic inspectors in that particular route so that those inspectors can stop the traffic in that particular route some time, say 10 mins, until the ambulance crosses that way??? Sounds good?? This activity is being done for all those big-big-people (sale-e-brity, politicians and people-with-A-Z-cat-security-service). When we people can stand and witness those convoys for 10 mins, can't we wait for the same time for an ambulance to cross by??

Soch!!!! :P :P

[At times, I can also think! Happens!! :P]

Pessimist

Facing failures since childhood (though am still a child!!), I developed in myself to see things in a pessimistic way. This pessimistic approach helped me to get out of failures easily whenever they happened as I my mind was set to see that situation pretty in advance. For those people around, my pessimistic behavior would have annoyed a lot. And further, unluckily, when things were fruitful at the end, I was treated to be a boaster. Rather I downplayed!! I don't say I am modest and don't celebrate my successes. It's just an aftermath of several failures that I'm just happy that particular event wasn't yet another failure event!! Just happy about something doesn't mean that I have to celebrate it!! :P

It can be called as some sort of premonition or God's grace or ill-luck. The first intuition I have about the possible outcome of an event, say positive, always turns out to be the opposite finally. This happens to me in everyday life. Right from the time when I wake up till I hit the bed again (and ofcourse, even in my dreams too!! :P). I wake up telling myself I should be good today. Never in my past I has happened! :P I wish I work properly everyday instead end up writing such blogs!! :P I wanted to get centum in Maths during my public exams. Ill-luck!! missed it in just one mark!! I knew I had made a mistake in Chemistry paper and wouldn't be getting centum! Ill-luck again!! Only centum in my whole school!! (which my Chemistry teacher herself can't believe it even today!! :() I wanted to end up working with 'my passion. my potential.' Passion was high but potential was low!! :D :D I used to wish, I see someone today. Even though the probability of occurence is 1, my fate, he/she wouldn't turn out that day!! I used to wish I don't see someone at all!! High chances that I wake up in his/her face that day!! Heights!! And.. my US trip. It was planned to happen sometime in July. I never had any hope on the plans to work out properly! Again, I am not being modest!! I just happened and, as I mentioned earlier, I wasn't happy about it for my mind was set to accept the fact that it won't happen in my life. That's the basic reason I couldn't cherish myself going to the US and inform others as well!! (Anyways, even others didn't cherish it :D). I wish some people stay with me lifelong! And :D :D :D as always, it wouldn't happen at all!! :D And so on and on and on..

Series of such (un)fortunate events made me have a negative thought on anything by default so that atleast it turns out to be positive!! I generally don't force myself to have negative thoughts. But am sure that the first thought I get about something fails for sure!! This pessimistic behavior led me to the state what I am now. I better choose to be recluse instead of being with someone and giving my negative opinion about something! I choose not to wish anyone of their endeavors just for the sake that I feel myself to apocalyptic and I feel me wishing someone would bring only failure and not success!! And it has happened quite a lot of times!! I don't remember wishing my sister on her my public exams even [event as old as 3 yrs back!! :D] I felt atleast my near and dear ones [@kilu: appadina?? :P] could understand it! Poor me!! Only my mom understands this fact!! :D :D.

[ And for those.. who feel this is yet another polambal!! Please take pains to look at the heading of this blog!!! I didn't ask you to waste time reading such pessimistic posts! It's you who opted for it, btw!!! :P :D :P :D ]

One Riot causing riot in my life!!

Just like trying out any other search engine, happened to stumble here somehow! The result ... NO COMMENTS!!


When people get such amazing search results.. why-on-earth am I getting such results??????? :( :( :(

Pazhaya Ninaivugal

பழய நினைவுகள்
படுத்தும் வேளையில்
பதுங்கிக் கிடந்தேன்
பகலும் இரவாய்!!

@Kilu: Naangalum ezhudhuvom!! Kavidhai!!! :P :P

Ashtamaththu Sani

With each one started to blog about their own personal problems, I felt I was lagging behind for quite a few months. I was seriously thinking of a stupid topic to blog about and couldn't find any!! :( Luckily today morning I happened to read Idly Vadai!! And that was a perfect post for me to blog about!! :D

It was about the Ashtamathu Sani that was dancing over my tongue all these days!! :P I dunno if because of that I spoke "little" bad or I dunno if it came to me for I use "Saniyan" always! But anyways, it was there somewhere in my tongue dancing happily and making me sad! :P

This Sep 26th, it finally decided to leave me (and my counterparts) and I was really waiting for it. But never intended to see what good I have after it goes. Luckily today I read an article about it. And man!!! Everything that has happened to me where listed there! Not sure if everything that they say "will happen", will happen!!! :D Here are my comments! Inline!! :D

உங்களைப் பற்றி:

எதிலும் வழக்கு போடும் [true :D] மகர ராசிக்காரர்களே நீங்கள் எவருக்கும் அஞ்சாமல் [appadiyaa??] உண்மையைப் பேசுபவர்கள் [i am modest :P]. எல்லாரும் நன்றாக இருக்க வேண்டும் என்ற எண்ணம் உடையவர்.[no comments :P]

எப்படி இருக்கப் போகிறது இந்த சனிப் பெயர்ச்சி:

இது வரை அஷ்டம ஸ்தானத்தில் இருந்த சனீஸ்வரன் இனி ஒன்பதாமிடத்தில் இருந்து வரும் 21/2 ஆண்டுகளுக்கு [rite vidunga!! ennakkum en pondaattikkum sandai varaadhu!!! :D] என்னென்னெ பலன்கள் தரப்போகிறார் என்பதைப் பார்ப்போம்.

இதுவரை பட்ட காலிலேயே படும் என்பது போன்ற நிலை மாறும் [aduththa kaalukku aapaa?? :(]. நீங்கள் செய்யாத தவறுக்கெல்லாம் மாட்டிக் கொண்டீர்களே [he he! true!! :D], இனி நீங்கள் அதிலிருந்து தப்பிப்பீர்கள் [odi olivaenaa??]. கோர்ட், போலீஸ் என்றிருந்த நிலைமை மாறும் [nalla vaelai adhu illai!!]. இதுவரை இருந்த வந்த உங்களுக்கு எதிராக இருந்த நிலைமை மாறும் [aagaa!! mmm :) :)]. வாழ்க்கைத்துணையுடன் இருந்த பிணக்க நிலை மாறும் [appadiyae onnu illaiyae!! :(]. முன்கோபம், பிடிவாதம் நீங்கும் [kaettuchchaamaa?? un sol paechchu kaettu nadappaenaam!! :P]. குடும்பத்தில் இருந்த வந்த மந்த நிலை மாறி உற்சாகம் துளிர்விடும். உங்களது வார்த்தைக்கு முக்கியத்துவம் கிடைக்கும் [superungo!! naalu IEEE paper podalaamaa?? :P]. பிரிந்த நண்பர்கள் [i-am-sorry!], உறவினர்கள் மீண்டும் வந்து சேருவார்கள் [appadiyaa?? :O :O sathyamangala saamiyaarey!! kettiyaa?? neeyum naanum onnu seruvomaam!! bethththththa comedy!!! adhukku nu "andha vidhyavin mahanidam saedhi solladi.. ennai.. saerum naal paarka solladi!!" nu paatu ezhuthi blog la vittuttu irrukkaadhey!! naakku thellaedhu!! :P :D yaruppaa adhu kootathula?? kovilpatti veeralatchumiyai vambukku izhuththadhu?? :-?].இதுவரை இருந்து வந்த கடன் மெல்ல மெல்ல தீரும் [ennakku kadan vaangi pazhakkam illai! kuduththu thaan pazhakkam!! :P]. அடிக்கடி கடன் வாங்கிய நிலை மாறும் [ada vaangalaingaraen!! thirumba thirumba summa ta ma ta ma ta ma nuttu!!]. நோய்கள் குணமடைந்து உடல்நிலை முன்னேற்றம் அடையும் [appo doctor fees kammi aahum nu solreenga!!! indha ulcer, BP, chest pain, nervous trouble, lottu, losukku ellaam poiduma?? naanum 6 packs 8 packs 22 packs ellaam vechchupaenaa?? :O :O evanda avan "suriya vukku soup oththi kudukka thaan laayakku!!" nu kaththuradhu??]. ஆன்மீகத்தில் நாட்டம் அதிகரிக்கும். முக்கியஸ்தர்களின் [appadina??] ஆதரவு பெருகும். உங்கள் மீது குடும்பத்தில் பாசம் அதிகரிக்கும் [pinna!! laptop enna! ipod enna!! paasam illaamaiyaa!!! :P :P @suruthee: correct thaaney??? :D :D]. வீட்டில் திருமணம் போன்ற சுபவிசேஷங்கள் நடக்கும் [adhey adhey!! vaaiyila naalu kilo sakkaraiyai poda!! eppo nu sonneenga naa nalla irrukkum!! ponnu... paalakkaadu thaaney?? :D (small doubtunga.. ilavatta kallellaam thooka vaenaamula?? :( )]. உங்களது தனித்திறமை [idhellaam vera irrukka??] வெளிஉலகுக்கு தெரிய வரும் [vera enna theramai therinjirukku veli ulagaththukku??]. புதிய வாகனத்தில் உலா வருவீர்கள் [adra sakkey!! adra sakkey!! maruti swift thaaney!! ada theriyumey!! :D :D :D]. இதுவரை பேசியது போலல்லாமல் இனி இணக்கமாக பேசி காரியத்தை சாதித்துக் கொள்வீர்கள் [appo ice veppaen nu solreenga?? sop sappa matter appo?? maela sollunga maela sollunga!! :D]. அரசாங்கத்தில் இருந்து வந்த காரியத்தடை நீங்கும். புதிய வீடு, வாகனம் அமையும் [ada eththanai vaaganamunga?? onnu podhum!!]. பெற்றோர் ம்ற்றும் உடன்பிறந்தோரிடம் இருந்து வந்த மனக்கசப்பு நீங்கும் [ada anbu thangachchi suruthee.. kaettiyaa?? anna anna nu konjuviyaamaam!! pottu thaakku!!! oh! mobile ku konja aarambichchuttiyo?? :P]. உங்களைப் புரிந்து கொள்ளாத உறவினர்களும், நண்பர்களும் [marupadiyumaa?? ethanai paeru???] இனிமேல் புரிந்து கொண்டு நடப்பார்கள் [dei.. kavuja kandasamy!! ennai purinju nadandhuppiyaamaam!! appadiyaa enna??]. உங்களிடம் கோபப்பட்டவர்கள் இனிமேல் இறங்கி வருவார்கள் [mottai maadi la yaarum illeengo.. irangi varradhukku!!]. திருட்டு போன பொருட்கள் திரும்ப கிடைக்கும் [heart thaan pala murai thirudu poirukku.. kidaikkungalaa??]. போட்டிகளில் வெற்றி கிடைக்கும் [potti mudinju paetti kuduppaenaa??]. வழக்கு, வியாஜ்ஜியங்களில் வெற்றி கிடைக்கும் [justification la adichchukka mudiyaadhu nu sollunga!!]. வியாபாராத்தில் ஏற்பட்ட நஷ்டங்கள் விலகும் [ada ini thaanga app store ku application podanum! aprom thaaney nattamellaam!!!]. விற்பனை அதிகரிக்கும் [appo.. iphone ku appu podalaam nu solreenga!! :D]. பதவி உயர்வு, இடமாற்றம் கிடைக்கும் [100% palichadhu ponga!! :D :D]. பணப்புழக்கம் அதிகரிக்கும் [eppadi.. silrai silraiyaa niraiya irrukkumaa??]. நல்ல வேலையாட்கள் கிடைப்பார்கள் [ada mannaar company mangaathaa!! kaettiyaa?? nee thaan ennakku sop ezhuththi tharuviyaam!! :P :P]. புதிய ஒப்பந்தங்கள் கையெழுத்தாகும் [ada ennakkaa?? enra company ka??]. பங்குதாரர்களிடம் இருந்த கருத்து வேறுபாடுகள் மறையும் [pangae illeenga!!]. உங்கள் ஆலோசனைகள் ஏற்கப்படும் [Dr. R. Sriram. Ph.D, B.Sc (psychology). nu board maatidalaam nu sollunga!!]. வியாபாரம் விருத்தியடையும். உத்தியோகத்தில் மேலதிகாரிகளுடன் இருந்து வந்த கருத்து மோதல்கள் நீங்கும். சக ஊழியர்களிடம் இருந்த மோதல்கள் நீங்கும் [dei junior aprasandigalaa.. ini PR PR nu nonaththamaateengalaam!! :D]. நல்ல நிறுவனத்தில் வேலை கிடைக்கும் [ada superungo!! nadandhirichchey!! :D]. அயல்நாட்டு வாய்ப்புகள் தேடி வரும் [vandha nalladhu thaan!! :D]. கனவுகளில் இருந்து வந்த தொல்லைகள் நீங்கும் [adangokkamakkaa.. kanavula duet paadinadhu thollai yaa??]. நீண்ட நாட்கள் பிரச்சனைகள் நீங்கும் [neenda naal na.. oru rendu varusham vechchukalaamungalaa?? irupadhu varushamaa oru pretchanai irrukku.. adhu theerumungala??]. மாணவமணிகளே நீங்கள் எதிர்பார்த்த மதிப்பெண்கள் தேடிவரும் [rite vidunga.. 800 vandhiruchchu :D]. மந்தநிலை [irrukkunga], மறதிவிலகி [ada illeenga nesamaavey!!] நன்மை ஏற்படும். கலைஞர்களுக்கு [yaarunga? indrajit aa??] பாராட்டுகளும், பரிசுகளும் குவியும் காலம் இது [gold aa bite panniyae old aahiduvaen nu sollunga!! :D]. மொத்தத்தில் இதுவரை இருந்த வந்த வறுமை மற்றும் மன உளைச்சல் [ada eppadinga ungalukku theriyum? mai pottu paartheengalaa??] நீங்கி செல்வவளமும், நிம்மதியும் ஏற்படும் [vandha seri thaanga!! unga vaai vaaku balikkattum :)].

:D :D :D :D

Another year..

.. another month.. another day! Still in the same state with life struggling to move ahead of obstacles. Caught in an enigma where the life stands still without knowing what to do! Days and nights(?!) of preparation finds no answers! All those 3000 words disintegrates to mere alphabets recited by a Kinder Garden student without knowing any meaning! Fear reigns the supreme as the D-day (death day?) nears! Just a last chance in life!! To get rid of all troubles!!! The only panacea I can have in my life!!! Does He think the same way? Time will tell me!!!

Thaen vandhu payudhu kaadhiniley!!

Sometime during my 6th std, I came to know what a "bad-word" means. It was just a starting point with 1 or 2 so-called-rowdis in the class used to utter it, and get punished my teachers after being pottukuduththufied by some pandu pasanga!! By 8th or so, almost half my class started using it. But the usage was restricted to only fights and only when being angry. This continued on and on and on with almost 95% of the boys starting to use them all by 12th std. Entering college, I could find the boys matured so much that they started using them all so colloquially every now and then. The air was filled with clear pronounciation of all those body-parts-or-diff-professions-or-watever-comes-under-bad-words. They moved on to nicknaming boys with all those names and it became a routine life to hear those words every now and then just like hearing one's name. Thought processes started getting corrupted with such vulgar (?!) and erotic (?!) words.

This continued over the years when the film industry started using this as a style factor for the villains, after the poor villains were banned from smoking in the movies. Thanks to Gautam Menon!! But for him, probably(!!) none would have known many words or wouldnt have started using in day to day life more frequently or wouldnt have educated many or wouldnt have became a more stylish factor for reel life villains!! Poor censor board, many couldn't figure out what the villain is trying to say in the movie. All heard just beeps whenever they showed the villain's face!! This continued over the films that followed and developed to an extent that the villain's dreamgirl or the sorna-ka or the female villain too starting to use it!! [ courtesy: pithamahan :P ]

I cannot say if this was the start for the girls to start using such words. But somewhere at some point of time, they too started using it!! But the poor part is, they started using such words without knowing what they actually mean!!! :( I was stunned to notice that this style factor has become a part of soaps too to increase their TRP rating. A new serial's trailer in Vijay TV had a loud beep for a word uttered by an actress in that. I really doubt if she knows the actual meaning of what she utters there and she actually utters such a word so casually even after knowing the meaning of it!!

This has nothing to do with gender bias or something. In that male dominated society, the male air got corrupted and polluted long long ago. With boys able to hear only such pleasant-honey-smoothened-words when in a group always!! Atleast the female air was a bit pure all these years. Should this corrupt their air too??? Should they also delve into such so-called-bad-words?? Should they also corrupt their mind?? Should they also become morally bad?? [ Edhaachchum seiyyanum sir!! oops madam!! :P ]

Is this an Yahoo bomb??

Trying a search of "handsome siddaarth" gives me this result!!! OMG!!!! What's happening in this world???


Dark Handsome God ???? Is this yet another Google bomb???? :( :( :(

P.S.: I tried giving "handsome sriram" and ended up getting the same result!! :( Am I not handsome??? :-? :-s

Of Jockey Jetties and Nike Shoes...

Those were the days when classrooms were filled with guys wearing exchanged shirts unwashed for days. Jeans used to survive one whole semester. Boys used to buy 2 jeans pants for a whole semester and would throw it when the semester exams get over. Rooms were filled with unwashed clothes. They had a single pair of slippers bought few eons back with 2 or 3 stiches here and there. There were even rooms where guys used as store room of dresses and slippers which anyone can use it as per their need and the fragnant smell it gives!! Tissue paper was an offensive word when they don't even know what an handkerchief is!! But the hostel bathrooms had just one thing for sure, a wall mirror, to see how ugly they are and make them a bit better. Soaps were something even the local stores inside the colleges hesitated to sell. Those were the college days, they were dependent on their family and were spending every penny as if they were a piece of gold. Swiping in ATMs was a big event of the week. Guys going to canteen more than twice a day were termed as rich! Vallet had no more than Rs. 100. Something like Rs. 3000 a month was more than enough to pay any bill in college and meet one's needs! Having cellphone meant that he/she is Ambani's kin. Prepaid connections were God's gift to them. Free SMS was heaven!! Those were the days when people were following communism without knowing it. :D :P

After getting a default 2 lettered degree, joining in some MNC, earning in *few* thousands, counting on the number of zeroes in the salary, the entire lifestyle changes. The dirty unwashed clothes gets replaced by costliest brands in the town. Jockey jetty becomes the style factor ( but then, that doesnt mean one should show it to everyone!!! :P Banglore girls are so curious about it for some unknown reasons!!! :D ). Those torn slippers get replaced by Nike shoes. Vallets are filled with credit cards from every other bank in the town. IT professional sans credit card is termed to be working in a company running in loss. T-Shirts advertising the costliest brands becomes one's identity. Having the latest costliest phone is a part of social status. Prepaid connections are a part of history, everything is just a call away! Every caller, including "hello-we-offer-you-credit-card" callers, should be greeted with a caller tune which changes every week! Malls are always filled with youngsters buying something or the other. A pencil bought at landmark writes volumes more than the same bought at annaachi kadai. Only a dinner at a 3-star hotel fills the appetite. Tissue papers are piling up in the dustbins always (what to do!! It's sweating right??!!).

With the start of every month, having *few* thousands in the bank account, credit card swipes more than a clock chimes a day. Every month has a big list of items to be bought. The living space, 10 times the same as a hostel room, is not enough for even two to stay. By 10th of the month, almost 75% account gets debited for paying credit card bills, telephone bills, rent and more. Left with a max of Rs. 10000, the rest 20 days passes - which is really a very insecure financial state. Going to workplace by a bike is just better than reaching by bus. The newest car in the town should be in one's garage. Audi gets parked under scorching sun most of the times. By 22 one should own a car. By 24 one should own a flat of *few* lakhs in the heart of the city. Gandhi smiles more than anyone else on one's day-to-day life!

Why is this sudden change? Is this the need of the industry? Do white collars really need to bear Louis Phillipe logo? Does visiting a mall is more important than anything else during weekends? Watching the new movie paying in hundreds is something like a gift to the director/actor? How many of them spend few pennies for the poor at signals after having a heavy dinner at a big hotel? How many do give something to the underpriveleged/orphans/differently abled people? When Rs. 3000 was way more than enough while in college, why is Rs. 30000 something very less to meet one's needs in a month? Are the credit cards the measure of one's qualification? While wasting a Rs. 400 worth pizza for it lacks the sponginess, does anyone think of someone sitting on the street begging for food? While going for a movie and spending Rs. 100 for popcorn, does anyone think of a child crying out for milk? When one buys a shirt for few hundreds, he/she think of someone cleaning the cars at the signals? Is there any real happiness with any of these? Will this recession change the people's mindset?

India isn't that poor. It's the IT capital of the world. But sadly, as Sujatha quoted in Sivaji, "the rich get richer. the poor get poorer!". This needs some change. Living life lavishly is not a big deal. Living life with humanity is something that counts at the end of the day!!!

P.S.: I haven't seen Naan Kadavul yet. I dunno nothing more than it's a movie on beggars and aghori baba!! I don't have a credit card. I don't run behind brands!

Ping!!

A window pops up with a message.. "Hey man! Wassup? Wru? Hru? :)"!! None other than from one of my college mates in same town!!! Orkut scrapbook reads "Hi da.. Long time no see!!" from a friend staying 2 streets away. Phone dances for an incoming SMS, "am busy for next 3 weekends.. catch ya in march".

When did you last meet your dearest friend? How much time you spent with him in your last meeting? What all did you do and enjoy during your last meeting? I hope you've started recollecting the past like Saif in KHNH with a big "Aaaaaaaaaanh..." :D Where is the world heading towards btw? What is the purpose of social networking??

Few months back when I was coming from Mayavaram to Bangalore in train. And the train stopped at Kumbakonam. With so much eagerness to see Kumbakonam maami's, I peeped my head outside. (Sadly there were none.) There was a stone beach on which some 4 guys were sitting. Each one was doing there own job, one reading bakya, another with mp3 player, the third one looking at train and the fourth one was looking at the sky!! Just that they were together spending their wasted evening in the railway station!! It's hard to see such groups today!!

Mokkaraasu a.k.a Hrithik with a profile photo of Salman with 6 pack abs sending a scrap to the girl next door Muthazhagu a.k.a Aishwarya with a profile picture of Asin reading, "Hi.. I ve seen u!! Ur gorgeous!! U smile d best!! Can v b frnzzzzz???", is the current trend!!! Chats and instant messengers are signed in 24 X 7!! The offline messages are an added addi(c)tion!! Social networking sites are growing up to an extent that I get a request from is-there-any-site-with-this-name kinda networks daily!! With some domain space you can start your own closed group networking site if you know some basic programming.

There were days when people used to call and inform some good news happening in their life!! Those voice in the calls conveyed their effervescent joy to their loved ones!! Nowadays the same news is spread more widely like a wildfire as status messages and status updates in Orkut and Facebook. Message reaches you even if you dont need it and there is a wide spread audience for the message! But.. One liners like.. "Got an admit!", "Committed.. to work :(", "New job.. new place.. new ppl", "marriage on 24th.. all r welcum :)"... do they bring in joy??? What's the difference between some blast happening in Bangalore published as headlines of a daily and such closed group joy displayed as popup ballons in Home page of networking sites??? [ Well.. there is one.. you can click on 'Hide' to mute the updates from friends but you cant do that with a daily!! :P Thanks to AJAX and DHTML!!! LOL! ]

Chats were initially started to help people to get in touch with others staying very far from them!! The advent of voice calls and video conferencing brought people at far off distances closer!! But.. they've become an essential part of life to the extent that if I turn back and say something in office, people ask me to come in Skype!!! :( I'm getting scared on whether I would lose my speech some day after staying dumb for 20 hrs a day!!! I couldn't hear people speak. I just hear people punching keys in my workplace!!

SMS was basically to leave a note to people while in a hurry or when you cant attend calls!! Thanks to Aircel for starting the free SMS campaign. With TRAI peeping in, and after alteration of plans and charges, SMS has become an important factor in day-to-day life!! Few providers charge some Rs. 50 for a SMS pack which allows you to send 5500 SMS per day!! The result.. ppl have started avoiding calls and SMS is flooding in vast numbers. For a certain few, mobile phone has become the 11th finger in their hand with they texting with it always.. right from what they eat to where they are sitting to their peers!!! Even this can be a bit acceptable. Few TV channels took this opportunity to increase their TRP rating by asking the viewers to send SMS to their loved ones via TV. It leaves me in a fix to see messages like.. "Dei purusa.. I love u da!!", "Chella kutti.. good morning", "Thala song dedicated to Madurai maththaapoo guys", "I luv u da.. meet u at park at 6 :D", "Sorry pondaatti.. thitta maattaen.. veetukku vaa.. life is hell without u!!". Where is the element of privacy in these things?? A day may come when parents might get to know about their son's love affair from such messages in TV!!

"It's long since we met.. You've become a little fat!!" - this is not from a conversation between two when they meet in person. This is a comment for a recent photograph in Facebook!! People get to know aging changes though photos in the albums!! Changing profile photo is a fashion these days!! Orkut intially had a passport size photo of each one with people trying to give a small smile near the corner of their lips. Nowadays people have portfolio snaps of their muscle man and dreamgirls of film industry!!!

Few years back, when I used to go to tutions, after those classes got over, we used to gather at the street ends and would chit chat for 5-10 minutes ( until we spot some police constable in rounds in that area :D ) and then leave back home. During my last visit to home, I happened the visit the same street. I was shocked to see the street abandoned as I know the master takes classes even today. The students, after the classes got over, rushed back home, not for studying the lessons, but to catch their school and tution mates in Y! Messenger and GTalk!! I couldn't understand this!! :D

I dont say I hate these kinds of technological improvements trying to bond people together!! I am a fan of chats and am almost chat-a-holic!! I just question, do they bond people really??? People prefer to meet in chat rooms than in a park or beach or malls!! Does it increase the bonding or do they internally creep in solitude?? Where is the element of meeting people and spending time these days?? Chats and scraps can be a medium of communication!! But when someone is complained for not calling or meeting out, the spontaneous response one gets is.. "We were chatting last nite rite?? Last week we were scrapping each other for 2 hrs rite?? Then wat??". Is this what social networking is meant for?? I just feel, during my son's days.. he would be working from home.. with his wife in another house.. and they both conversing over Skype calls with Orkut / Facebook giving them daily updates of what they both are doing to each other!!!!

I.. Me.. Myself!

I happened to see this guy during my trip to Makedatu! A casual outfit - t-shirt and 3/4ths - making him free enuf to climb wherever he wanted. A digicam and a handycam. A bag with all essential things. A bike! He was all alone enjoying things. Of all those who came there he was peculiar as there were only either a group of soft wear-n-tear engineers or young couple trying to make love. He stood single, enjoyed every part of nature, spent time wherever he wanted, took snaps, recorded videos, explored, and of all LIVED LIFE!!

This makes me wonder on whether life should be really like this? Or there is something called relationships? Or the relationships are just a fake and this is the truth?

I've been trying to pull people to many places in and around Bangalore for the past 10 months or so. It never happens for very many reasons. At times they are busy. At times people arent like minded like me to explore places. Certain other times certain other (im)perceivable internal factors play a role in coming out!!! All that happened was me being left alone without a company to explore places. I can't blame others for this but then I just question myself on whether I'm destined to explore things all alone? If that's the truth, what is the need for relationships in life? Aren't friends there to give company and enjoy things? Are they just to share day-to-day happenings (if any) and lend shoulders to cry when in need (if free)?

I agree that my way of looking at life can be different. But at large, doesn't the friendship involve meeting friends and having nice time with them? Having a coffee at Coffee day or laughing at a funny movie or going on a ride to an exotic place - arent they a part of it? Are just friendships meant for meeting on birthdays to exchange wishes (if at all people find time for them!!!)??? Are others able to feel such things in their life? If so, am I the one left behind experiencing these pleasures? There could be only few reasons then!! Either am not getting along with people or am thronging to a particular set of people or people are not comfortable going out and spending time with me!! Me not getting along with people - I dont think so for I ve been the one pulling people for going out all these months!!! Tronging to a particular set - mmm.. certainly not as I ve been calling each and everyone I am seeing over chats and meeting over calls!!! People are not comfortable - mmm.. could be!!! In that case, I cant long for them to come with me and spend time with me!!! It's just I.. Me.. Myself!!!

I.. Me.. Myself!!! I found these words for the first time in Varun's brother's blog! I couldn't understand it then. But then, I can understand it now. Life is just all about I!!! Others can be near I.. but all that matters is just I!!! I started understanding people to some extent!! [ A complex topic unlike photography or camera or gadgets or whatever that goes by rules and scales :D :D ]. They wont come with me unless they really like something and have the urge to come. All it matters for them is just their own "I" and I dont stand a competition to it!! Giving a company is out of question! My wishes go unnoticed in front of their preferences. I really dont understand this component in relationships but then am just asked to live with it!! :) .. as always!! They would call me in case I'm needed for them for something but I cant call them out for something or other. Rather clearly, I am not barred from calling them, just that they wouldnt be able to come with me for their own (im)perceivable preferences / character / indulgences. The only solution is me going in pursuit of whatever I want without depending on others. A bike ride to Mysore wouldnt need more than me and my bike. Watching a movie wouldnt need more than me and a valid ticket. Photoshoot at a park wouldnt need more than me and my camera (and my bike for travel :P). Shopping wouldnt require more than me and my wallet (filled with money / i-am-in-debt cards :P). Just a company would be better to share and experience things!! But if I am not privelleged to get it, there is no point in longing for it!!! I!! :D

Book Review

This is the autobiography of the author of the Moore market best seller, "101 ways to pretend to be BUSY!". The author, Siddaarth S. Kounder, has humourously explained his long and tiring journey from Kodumudi, a small village near the remote town of Erode, to the K-o-o-k-l-e-p-l-e-x, just another multiplex in the city of California.

The book starts right from his childhood days where he vividly explains his high moral habits in simple ways. One such example of his cleanliness is cleanly seen when he proudly confesses that he never brushed his teeth till the age of 10! Thanks to the publishers for not printing any photo of the same!!

Being an over studious child, the author had never spent time on school grounds it seems. But then, his bookish nature had helped him gain more knowledge about the earth and the people's mindset which is far more necessary these days. He had the good habit of remembering what he studied for long it seems. But again, his explanation of his correlation of Economics 'maximum-utility theory' with human free will sounds horrible.

The author could have avoided his usual PJ's atleast in this book. Though it might sound hillarious for him, it sounds more amateurish at times. For instance, while speaking about his childhood days at Kodumudi, he narrates how the villagers used to call him in a seemingly funny way. In verbatim, "Being the youngest in my family, whenever I go round the village for playing, the villagers used to call me, "Chinna gownder, chinna gownder!". I feel myself to be someone like Gaptun Vijaykanth and would be blushing on hearing them call me so".

The college life seemed to have changed the author's life style to its entirety. Right from brushing daily and taking bath atleast once a week, he had to change all his long held practice and habits. The author says he attained enlightenment under the neem tree in front of his department. He claims that he never studied for exams after attaining enlightenment. He goes further to say that he used to sleep till 8 o clock in the morning on an exam day before an exam that starts at 8.30 a.m. He preached his engineering principles to his fellow disciples (some 20 in number) in an very pathetic room that could hold only 2. He also says he gave philosophical speeches to a selected few while in college though they weren't patiently listened and followed.

Even after getting selected for a company named after a Roman goddess, the author didn't join it. He chose to work as a conductor for few days where he compares himself with the wellknown demi-god in South India. His tireless working earned him a job in a company that still searches for the past 10 years for lost things in the web. The author humorously quotes, "...those were the days when I used to change my jobs much faster than I changed my jeans!". Proving himself to be a good translator, he became a tourist guide in that company. Able to speak and write 8 languages (English, Hindi, Kannada, Malayalam, Telugu, Spanish, French and a bit of Tamil), he became the chief tourist guide of the company within few months. He was sent to the biggest multiplex at California to learn few more languages and to transfer his knowledge on various languages to his fellow tourist guides outside the multiplex there. There ends his long and tiring journey from Kodumudi to K-o-o-k-l-e-p-l-e-x.

From conductor to tourist guide, the author had switched to many different professions in his life. His perseverance, hard work and the urge to stay in the race and win it had always proved him successful all through his life. The author concludes saying, few years down the lane he would start his own missionary and would start preaching his disciples on philosophy and human psychology. Beware!!

The author moves into a sad mood while speaking about girls, the reason of which is not so clear. Though being surrounded by many girls right from childhood days, Cupid, becoming jealous of the author for the same reason, has avoided throwing arrows at the author.


Colophon:

The animal used is an orangutan. Though this kind of monkey is among the most intelligent groups of monkey, it also seems to be the most starving kind too. The orangutan has no relation with this book anyways.


Plus and Minus:

• I'm trying to find a plus, right from when I took the book in hand. Seems like I need to read it atleast a couple of times to find something interesting or impressive!
• As far as the negatives, the book is priced more than the price of an Apple iPhone!

Trivia:

• It is said that there had been severe conflicts between the author and the publisher over the animal to be used for colophon. The author seems to have suggested a horse, while the publishers were seemed to be keen on a bear. As a compromise, they both ended up with an orangutan. The reason for choosing this animal is not known. The author feels shy to disclose the reason behind choosing this.
• Sources report that the first book of this author was bought by only one person at the Moore Market. It has been found that the person is a close friend of the author, and was compelled to buy that book! This clearly reveals that the #1 stands for the number of copies sold and not the rank of the book!!

Friendship...

It's more than a year since I worked on Photoshop. For simple reasons being I couldn't get a good project and I couldn't install it in my lappy!!! Luckily, few days back, I got an opportunity to get acquainted (??!!) with my old friend again!!!

I got a project (:-?) of designing a photo for a photo frame to be presented to Kilu. With too many ideas pooling in, I was able to complete it as expected by everyone. A nice photo collage with a good message in the centre. Those 3 days of sleepless nights, changes, comments, revisions, photo selections, font selections, colors, palettes, effects... awesome!!!!

It just reminded me of my college days again where me and Varun would do a lot like this with too many conflicting ideas and finally narrowing down to one which convinces both. It had always been a challenge for me during those days to give a poster that excels from other departments'. And convincing me and Varun over an idea had always been another challenge in every design we created. I always wanted my first comment about everything I did, only from Varun. His suggestions would make wonders in no time. [ :D ]

This photo has too many nice moments in Kilu's and his friends' lives. Happiness.. is what friendship is all about!!!!! [ :) ] I loved this photo a lot!!! 10 hrs of work didnt go in vain.. His happiness on seeing this.. a surprised smile.. an agog (??!!) .. I loved it!!!! [ :) ]

P.S. : Publishing this on his birthday!!! :D Happy birthday rascal!!! :D :D :D

[ And btw.. I desgined something else too.. to fake him!!!! I loved it as much as this!!!! :D Will soon post it even if Kilu allows me or not!!! ROTFL!!!! ]

(siri) Ram Lal Seth

Can you find some difference in me???
[I didnt ask the "mild" increase in weight!! :P]

Atleast now??

Ada ippo vaachchum theriyundungalaa????

Yes.. The rumours(?!?!?!) are true!!! I got my ears pierced and am now wearing a "Kadukkan"!!! [Enna oru vibareeeeedha aasai!! :P]

Actually.. 1 yr down the lane, me and Kilu want to start a Guitar band. 2 yrs down the lane, we want to hit the doors of ARR for a chance in his K M conservatory!!! 5 yrs down the lane, we want to become the lead guitarists in his orchestra. 10 yrs down the lane ... !! 20 yrs down the line ....... !!!!

As Kamal says in Vasool Raja, "Ellaathukkumey oru aarambam vaenum maamu!!". So to start a band, I want to become a guitarist first!! For that I want to learn guitar. As far as I've seen so far.. all guitarists are having long hair with 'kudumi's and rings in ears!! So.. Idhu thaan andha mudhal step-o nu nenachchu!!! I've pierced my ears!!!

I thought am gonna killed by people around me!! But then.. what a response!!! My mom wants to buy me a gold ring!! My paati.. awesome she is.. wanna buy me a diamond stud!! OMG!!!! Any other sponsors reading this??? :D :D :D.

Actually.. In madurai... Seth ( 'saettu' as how its called in tamil) people used to wear this ring!! That's why I've changed my name to 'Ram Lal Seth' !!! [Adhukku nu.. unga velli kuduththai en kitta hindi padikka anuppaadheenga!! :P :P ]

So people reading this... It would be no wonder for you to see me with an ear ring, kudumi, extraaaa-large t shirts, and a very big steel chain bearing my name.. and ofcourse with a guitar... playing with ARR!!!! :D :D :D

[Disclaimer: People who got furious over reading / seeing me with an ear ring... pls dont show your anger over me.. probably you might lose a guitarist!!! :P :P :P ]

Schumi of Pandiyar Bhoomi!!

May 1st was/is an important day in my life! Some celebrate it as labourer's day. Some as 'Thala's bday'. Some (like me and my sister) as "our thalaivar's" thala bday!! Some would celebrate it as a day to sit back at home and relax!!! But then.. for me.. I celebrated it in a different way by meeting with an accident!! ya... ACCIDENT!!!

The sun was shining brightly exactly over my head!! (ada.. 12 noon pa!!!) I thought it was casting a nice smile over me and I took out my first love, Scooty Pep, for a nice ride in the scorching sun!! I never knew that its smile was sarcastic!! :( I had just gone few meters away from my area and was accelerating the so puny vehicle to reach 60 kmph as soon as possible!! By the time it reached the 60 mark, a share auto (adhey thaan.. indha oru auto va remodel panni.. adhula 20 paera ulla thalli ammukki nasukki koottittu povaangaley!!! adhey adhey!!) was approaching me in my lane from the opposite side. Jus then I was thinking of reducing the speed.. Ipch.. Nalla manasukkaaran!! He started switching over to his lane!!

By the time I crossed him, there came a "Hero Honda Hunk" from nowhere. On seeing me, he stationed his vehicle on my lane applying his so-called-disc-brakes!! (enna thaan bayamo.. paya pullaikku!!). My Scooty fell in love with the Hunk, and colloided with it as it comes in Eclairs ad!! We both fell down. My scooty in front of me. His hunk to the left of me and he to the right of me!!! Few pigeons and kuruvi (sorry vijay fans) were circling over my head for sometime!! A never stopping FM signal test sound was echoing in my ears!!!

After the birds flying away in another few minutes, we both got back to normal state where we can start questioning each other on who made the mistake!! By the time we regained our conscience and found where we are, the whole place was crowded with people!! Sadly it's his area and all were in support of him!! Lone warrior, I was explaining and claiming my points!! (Vel padam maadiri nalla vaelaikku yaarum aruvaal thookalai!!). Took time to settle things and rest is history!!!

Yesterday was when we (panradhu naan thaan.. adhukku aprom aftermath ellaam veetla irrukkaravanga paarthuppaanga.. adhaan... "we" :-D) had to settle him the money for repairing his bike!! The total cost came to Rs. 839. And my first love got damaged worsely making me shed Rs. 5000 from my pocket!!! :( :(

When I thought of forgetting things as "All that hit well got (repaired) well", he had told my mom that many are in search of me for hitting him and he has been pacifying them for the past 2 weeks!! (Oru pilla poochi ya adikka iththanai paeraa??? Chinna pulla thanamaa la irrukku!!!) 'Thimiru' padaththula varaa maadiriyae ellaam poguthu!! Aana.. Vishal solraapla "naanum madurai kaaran thaan da!!" nu solla mudiyalaiyae!!! :( :(

Ok! Now analysing on such an accident as per siddaarth!! The good(?!) and the bad ones... The bad one ofcourse is material damage for me and physical damage for the guy with a hunk!! The total cost of my impatience, lack of concentration, madness, rash driving, whatever, whatever... Rs. 6500!!! (OMG!!!!) The good ones... ??? I ve gained patience(?!), more concentration(?!) and steadiness while driving! I ve reduced(?!) my speed nowadays!! :( And of all, I've realised that 'nothing is important as much as I give importance to it'!!!

P.S.: People are yelling at me, "Trisha otturaapla ottinaa.. ippadi pretchanai vandhirukkumaa??". Me sadly replying, "kooda andha maadiri ponunga vandha ok thaan!!!" :(

Oh! My Love...

It's more than an year now since I started drenching in love [this time its serious buddy!!]

This is not just another love story in some corner of the earth. Or the love story seen in those Selvaravagan and Gowtham Menon's movies. This is more special than any other love.

I had an obsession over her for years. Atleast to say, right from first year in my college life!! I never had an opportunity to speak to her. The facts and information from various sources across the world made me feel that she is better than most of the so-called "good-girls". As the days passed by, the love for her grew more and more without being expressed outside. I couldn't hold this love for long and I really wanted to tell her my pure love for her. This, but, initially required me to speak to her!!

I still remember the day.. oops night!! When me and one of my close friends were on a long walk on a busy street..!! I caught a glimpse of her in the large group of girls some few feet ahead of me. Her face glowed like never before in those troublesome deceiving tube lights. Of all those girls in that area, she alone caught my sight. So calm.. so simple.. so puny... she stood there before me!! I went upto her... was about to speak to her!! But nothing came out of my mouth!! I was speechless for it was the first time am going to speak to her in my life!!! We both stood there facing each other for 2 mins without speaking.. The silence broke when our happiness over flowed!! I started smiling at her... for she makes anyone and everyone smile!!! Her flashy smile can make anyone blind!!! [:-D] With a formal introduction, the night just passed away, but the happiness remained with me the whole night!! [This part of my life.. this little part.. is called the 'happyness' :D ]

The next day I had a chance to speak a bit more to her!! It took some time for me to understand her.. She was not that confusing kind. But it's the first time am speaking few words to a girl!! My earlier acquaintances with girls didnt help me much this time. Her responses were almost always similar with shorter sounds from her mouth. In those days I used to wonder if she knew few more words!! [:p]

The days passed with me getting more and more close to her. I started understanding her a lot and so did she.. The relationship went on to a new phase which we both never expected.. or atleast I !! The whole lot around us started associating myself with her. I got a new dimension because of her. A new dimension which I never thought I would ever attain. As seen in all movies, she brought in a lot of changes in me. The more changes in me made more people come near me. She witnessed my friends and my association with them. Their joy, happiness, enjoyment, teasers, birthdays, etc.. The relationship brought in more and more changes among us. She started liking me more. At times her unbelievable reactions would flatten me. At times her reactions would make me give a dull face. It become a habit for me to go out with her... rather she going out with me.. or watever!!! She gave a new name for me among friends. I was treated differently because of her presence near me. A new kind of respect(?!) came out of nowhere.

As the days went by, the devil in me started showing off. As it happens with anything, I started being possessive of her. "love la idhellaam sahajamappaa!!" but still my friends felt bad about it. I wont allow any of my friends to speak to her initially. bayam?? You can call it so!! [:D] It took a bit of time to lose that possessiveness. By the time possessiveness got down, dependency played a bigger role. I wanted her to be with me always. I felt she was the right companion to me. Neither she found fault with me.. nor did I!! But this dependency on her started growing like evil. This brought in a hiatus between us.

By the time my dependency on her decreased.. or atleast went away, a new problem came in. She was diagnosed to be suffering from the Alzheimer's!! Her memory power started reducing a lot and finally ended up knowing nothing about me. She lost all the love she had for me. She lost all the good thoughts about me. I was always new in front of her whenever she saw me!! I tried hard to get her back to normal. Till date I couldn't help it. Doctors say that she can live if we could get a donor for brain transplatation. But she will lose all the things she know about me. Anything and everything will start new in her life. Am too shocked at this point of time in my life!! Will she remember me after getting a new brain? Will I get a chance to rebuild the name I had in her? Will she love me?? or.. Will I running around the streets saying "gnaah gnaah gnaah..." or have a aluminium pot over my head and dance to make her remember me???

Oh.. I havent told you people who she is!! For those who have found her correctly.. kudos!! For the rest... she is...



my digicam Sony DSC W-5 !!!!!

Well yaah man.. who else gave me a name among my friends than her??? What new dimension I got than being a photographer??? Who else walked with me during all occassions in my college life?? Who else saw my happiness when I got placed and my cries when I was hit hard and was left with a fractured bone [:D] ???? She is the right pair for me.. Hope she gets back to normal and she remembers me to make me achieve more!! Atleast reach 10000 photos asap! :D :D [for those who dont believe.. try reading this post again!!! :) ]